Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Going N/C wish me perseverance/strength

SC,

I never thought I would be able to go dark, but these past 3 weeks have been amazing as far as healing goes.
I won't lie, it won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

Personally, I wouldn't say it hurts too much to be near him. Just say you need space for you.

Thanks DG and JS.
I can't do the level of contact I've had with STBX and keep emotionally stable, even if the contact has only been to exchange custody of the kids.
Every week it's like ripping off the bandaid on a not healed deep cut. Every other weekend, it's having my legs swept out from under me.

Yeah you're right I shouldn't say anything about how I feel. It's not like he cares much anyway. I keep forgetting that.

I dunno if I should say anything at all really TBH, if pushed I will say, I need space.

Maybe that would be best, to not say anything.

My H & I don't have kids together so I don't have to worry about that, but I do have a S10 who misses my H something fierce and cries on a regular basis because he never calls or visits or answers his calls. That rips my heart right out of me.

You can do this SC, and we'll be here for you.

Hey SC. Wishing you strength and peace.

Stage one begun.
Told STBX I want him to call before he hits the driveway, and that I'd prefer he'd just send the kids out when I come to pick them up from his front entry.
His voice sounded a little suprised/shocked when he said OK.
He didn't ask why though.

SC,
It sounds like you are doing what you need to do for yourself and your own personal healing. I am praying for your perseverance and strength.

Thinking good thoughts for you. Remember to take care of you.

Thanks for all your well wishes.
I know this is going to be a long haul, likely with a D in my future given my STBX apathy where he is concerned.
Regardless, I know now I have to get my act together and do what I must for me emotionally, financially, and legally.
It will take a few months to get my ducks in row.
Truth is before I even open a door to a new R (be that with STBX or someone else) I need to close the door on this one.

Paradox of the day: The better you treat someone the more it seems they treat you badly.

Well, well, well.
Hand off of children on my end went as planned.
Hand off at his end...let's say he didn't do as requested, came right up to the car and was extraordinarily chatty and smiling.

I was pleasant and happy.

Hmmmmmmm.

SC, Hmmmmmmm indeed. I know you're not reading to much into it. Keep your resolve.