Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis has anyone ever.....

that was very nice

thank you angel

i hope you're doing well

grr,

Only from reading your posts on this board. I know you are a caring, funny, intelligent and beautiful women.

Hold your head high.

BTW, we miss you, stop by when you have a chance

grr, my wife has said that, also "I never loved you", but she ended with "I still love you and probably always will". That was at least four years ago. She has not said anything further with words.

Words are only words. Love doesnt really die. Anger from a loved one is usually love "turned inside out".

I would love to hear my wife say to me "I love you" but I would prefer to see her be more comfortable in her own skin, rather than try to impress others that certainly dont deserve it.

thanks boys,

country it is nice to "see" you again.....

thank you for your kind words, they do help

and i do hold my head high (ok, most of the time)


mmf, do you really think love doesn't die? because, lately when he looks at me, i see a vacancy there

i think he is full on mlc now....i wasn't too sure before

he is drinking more now (during his shows - but before it made him sick)

he still smokes alot of pot and has told me that will never change

i don't know

i'm just venting now

i've got to go out and do something for me

hope all is ok with everyone
sometimes it feels so darn heavy tho', you know?

You have said it.

So let it be written; So let it be done!

What are you doing for yourself?

^^^^^ that right there is beautiful true words.

good question jack

and i really don't like my answer right now

in this past week i have purchased 2 new bathing suits, 3 pair of jeans (expensive ones....i am usually just a levi's girl) some girly tops and 2 pair of sandals

this is odd for me because i am not a shopper or a buyer

and i don't like that what i think i am doing for me, is just purchasing

doesn't make me feel better

but i do love everything i bought

on the flip side, and i guess this counts,,,

i have started hitting the gym again

i am taking my s on a camping trip this weekend to our ''special place"

i finished writing a childrens story that i started working on after 9/11

so there

Grr,



It isn't just purchasing. You're thinking enough of yourself to look nice. That's awesome!



Nice! Will you be putting it out into the world? No small feat this.

Grr, if it is love, I don't think it does die. I think it is suppressed, denied, turned inside out, attempts to find a replacement or distractions. In my case, I think it really aggravates my wife so it is expressed as anger.

I believe that most of the cases here, the wayward spouse doesn't feel deserving of love. Some don't feel comfortable being loved.

Grr, sweetie, this is tough stuff. It is normal to feel the way you do from time to time. You love him.

I know we want signs sometimes on this journey.

I want to tell you a couple of things. I know everyone on here knows about me and my son. It has been the two of us for quite some time. I am blessed that we are close.

He hopes to get well enough to move to California in 5 months. Of course, my initial reaction was to freak out. LOL! It is clear across the country. What if he loves it and stays there for a long time? How will I stand not being able to see that face each day?

But, of course, I realized that I love him enough to let him go.

He wrote me a letter. Left it under my bedroom door. The gist of it was this. Little mom, he wrote, I know that you are sad I may be leaving. I also know without a doubt that you will do whatever you can to help me. I know that you support me no matter what I choose. That you are my biggest fan. I know that while you will be sad, you will be happy that I am walking my journey of self discovery. I have never had a doubt in my mind that you are there for me no matter what.

And he is right. There is nothing I wouldnt do for him. Including letting him go with all my heart to discover himself.

My point being this. While it is different circumstances regarding my xh, the feeling is the same. I love him enough to let him go. I love him enough to want him to be happy and to find his way.

While it is so very difficult, these wishes for those we love, it is truly the very greatest gift we can give them.

I will also tell you this. My xh said all the words yours and many others have said to you.

While I respect his right to say them, to maybe even feel them at times, I also know that he loves me.

Real love doesnt die. It changes. It ebbs and flows. It is surpressed and denied. But it doesnt ever really die.

My xh recently wrote me that he loved me then, he loves me now.

While we will most likely never reconcile, I know that what he wrote was true.

And I cannot know that will happen in your marriage, I believe that once you really and truly love someone, you love them always.

So, my friend, while I know it is difficult to try to follow what most of us know is the path one must take, it really is the way to peace.

Live your life, Grr. Find your way, walk your path, and even take time once in awhile to think about your h.

But continue to believe that all things are possible. Continue to focus on you and your son and your life. And leave it all in His capable hands.

Hang in there, sweetie.