The fear comes from that my wife is diagnosed bi-polar and has a history of self harm when she gets down on herself as well as low self esteem. The self harm is something we have worked on together and for the most part have curbed but I worry without me there that something will happen and she will fall back to those methods. Regardless of the factor that we are headed towards divorce I still view it as my job to make sure she's okay. Which is just another of the many reasons why the LRT has been so difficult for me aside from the obvious reasons.
Bi-polar. That's a tough one. I'm hoping she is medicated and in counseling because that sickness is a relationship time bomb of epic proportions. In my experience, they need you during their depression and they love you around during their mania... until you try to pull them back from their mania. That's when they push you away because you're ruining their fun. They make you the bad guy and victimize themselves, ensuring they aren't feeling guilty about anything. At least, that's what I've found in my experience... and it's be one heck of an experience.
Are you kidding me? She just came over saying she wants the bed! It was her mom's bed. We got it after she passed away. When she left we had agreed that the bed would stay here and she would get another one and now she wants to take it! I don't have the money to go buy a new bed.....I told her calmly that I'm not opposed to her taking the bed but I need more than just a couple of days to find a new one. I just keep telling myself she's bi-polar I'm not going to try to figure out her reasoning.
Bi-polar. That's a tough one. I'm hoping she is medicated and in counseling because that sickness is a relationship time bomb of epic proportions. In my experience, they need you during their depression and they love you around during their mania... until you try to pull them back from their mania. That's when they push you away because you're ruining their fun. They make you the bad guy and victimize themselves, ensuring they aren't feeling guilty about anything. At least, that's what I've found in my experience... and it's be one heck of an experience.
She's not unfortunately. She won't take her meds. You are right though I have been made into a complete a-hole to those that don't know me. Right now she's telling half truths and whole lies so to speak. Thankfully some of the people that know us both aren't buying it but still those that don't and only know her half of the story think I'm a horrible person
You are right though I have been made into a complete a-hole to those that don't know me. Right now she's telling half truths and whole lies so to speak.
Well - good thing those people aren't responsible for your happiness, huh?
Its too bad for them really, they don't get to know you for who you are and get 'poisoned' by someones highly biased presentation of the situation. But its one of those things you can do nothing about.. Its not your problem. It becomes your problem when you buy into it, or place too much stock in what other people 'might' think of you. Keep being the best person you can be..
Sorry to hear about the Bi-polar thing. I guess in some ways that makes it all the more important to detach - for your own emotional well being.
M: 32 W: 29 T: 9 Years M: 4 Years I hit rock bottom: 2/11 PA admitted: 4/11 WAW: 5/11 D filed: 6/11 now: Patience, wisdom, and growth - hopefully.
So yah I'm in a really bad mood now.....my WAW wife sent me an email (first time for that) and asked if she could borrow my car to go to the cemetery to visit her mother. I said ok because I can understand wanting to do something like that. So anyways a mutual friend called me a few minutes ago saying that my WAW told her she was using my car to go meet her boyfriend then they were going to the cemetery together and then they were going to their cousins. My first clue that this was happening was when I asked her what time she wanted us to leave and she said she wanted to spent some time alone with her mom. So yah basically my WAW lied to me and said she was going to visit alone and in face took her boyfriend......that's it for me she's not using my car anymore...
She's using you! She should not have access to your property (like your car) when she chose to leave. When I started reading about her "reason" to borrow it, I felt it was to see boyfriend. She's smart enough to know to through certain words around to soften you up. Like going to visit her mom. She figured you couldn't say no to that.
That's pretty low.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
it's not happening anymore either. now I'm p!ssed! I'm calling her on this one. To treat me like this and now to use my car to go see her boyfriend that's nothing more than being disrespectful. I called her cousin to see if she had left and he said THEY just did. I finally got ahold of her and she said it's going to be over an hour before she gets here still. So now I miss my concert because of this crap...this is ridiculous and I'm sick and tired of the crap
the thing is shortly after she left I started wondering if she would actually be picking him up...till our friend called I had convinced myself that even she wouldn't stoop that low
