Meaning of pride: pride [prahyd] - noun 1. self-respect 2. something causing one to be proud 3. conceit 4. group of lions
Pride in the right context is not a bad thing True...
Pride of ones children, appearance, performance.
Denver, I say this with incredible sincerity.
I want you to do whatever it is that makes you happy!
Follow DB if it works to save YOU, or follow some deviation of it if that works for YOU...
I've never said that you should take any action against your W.
All I have said in every post is to make her accountable for bad choices.
Don't punish!
Just remember that it's people themselves that create their own misery...
We don't put people in jail, they do it to themselves.
We don't make people pay fines for speeding, they do it to themselves.
And if your W chooses to leave, and is having financial issues, she will do it to herself...
People create their own consequences...
Do what's right for you Denver!
Have a great 4th all...
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
I have solid beliefs about honesty and being faithful...
Not about punishing or hurting...
But about love and passion and romance and committment...
NONE of which can be attained with THREE (3) people in a R!
So it is with the utmost respect that I say...
If you don't like what I'm writing, DON'T READ!
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
sbh- More than the actual advice, it's the "PRESSURE". Denver also wasn't saying...please sbh-tell me more. I think most all of us here agree with being solid, honest and faithful. What you are getting is feedback as to how you are coming across.
We all have different opinions. If someone isn't doing what you want them to do, move on. There are LOTS of folks on this board or other boards you can advise.
What you don't see in posts are the complaints that come in. So, that is the caution for everyone---the pressure.
Someone has pointed out, and rightly so, that sbh is not the only one putting pressure on Denver.
Denver DOES seek out your advice.
Others- in general - It's interesting that Denver is so popular and attracts the high profile posters with very strong points of view.
Our goals are twofold:
1) to support Denver 2) and to help him brainstorm using DB techniques...and that can include a wide variety of approaches.
It helps to give a reason for your personal view from your own life. But this is Denver's life. He has to live with his choices at the end of the day. Not what someone else thinks is right or wrong.
Denver's a big boy, and he can actually handle the pressure, and he personally has never complained. This is about readers who may or may not post here.
But it is also not his responsibility to tell someone to stop posting to him. It's like someone stopping by your cube and they keep talking while you turn back to do your work. It's the board equivalent of body language. Stop by, visit, give your 2 cents once , twice, but if you aren't 'welcomed'...move on...someone else will welcome you.
If you think you being on good behavior for a month is going to fix this you're sorely mistaken.
Here is what I see: You have failed to provide the most fundamental need to any woman and most especially to your wife:
!!!! SAFETY !!!!
If you want to fix your marriage start there and only there until you have mastered it.
That means:
1) Safety from your angry outbursts. 2) Safety from her doubts on your fidelity 3) Safety from not being able to express herself without you climbing down her throat 4) Safety from your disparaging thoughts ... and I can go on but I don't feel like it.
Provide a safe environment for your wife to flourish in.
Originally Posted By: gucci loafer
HERE IT IS...... be ready this is DEEP...
LEARN TO BE A HAPPY MAN..
That's it..
LEARN TO BE A HAPPY MAN..
You WILL find then that all your troubles will start to vanish....
Be happy JUST the way things are in your life.. Be happy..
That's it..
No pressure Denver. None. Notta. Zilch.
These two posts really say A LOT. Ask yourself..."Am I listening to what my W really is saying?" and give her what she wants.
I'm not saying your not trying, but I want you to really look at these two quotes over and over and over. I think they apply in your sitch AND many others. Just my opinion. No pressure.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I'm still alive. My daughter is in town visiting me and my laptop crashed again (in the shop). I just haven't had much time to update or respond to the good stuff that is here.
I will update when I can. thanks.
Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
