Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again XYZ is here, but I won't be staying...

I need to get back to setting goals for my baby steps. I got away from that and now I think they are as (if not more) important than ever....

So, for me:

* Keep doing what worked.
* Let W come to me.
* Stay busy
* Practice my patience
* Don't Don't Don't fall back into neediness


Baby Steps that I'm looking for from her:

* She'll call me or text me when there's no real reason
* She'll schedule counseling (tomorrow will be 1 week since she said she would do it, but as of yet has not...)
* She'll schedule time together (with or without kids) that wasn't on the "normal" schedule

That's it, just would like to start to see some of those....

maybe time for a new thread. He he. (Geez, you'd think I was a mod or something)

the only think I would caution against is the idea of baby-steps from her. it could create expectations which could derail on of your goals - no neediness.

i think the better approach, as JTB, has said is to enjoy those moments rather than see them as steps by her.

Back in march when things started to turn better, I could see her baby steps. Appreciated them, but didn't look for them.

the MC is a different issue as I think she needs to do that.

You know what's noodling my noodle right now? What if she doesn't schedule the counseling? What do I do and when? For years, I've had issues with her not doing what she said she'd do. One week ago tomorrow, she said she'd do it. Then Friday she said she'd email some people for references over the weekend (I don't know if she did or did not do that - I haven't asked and don't plan on it).

So, best case she has made progress but doesn't have options for me yet. Worst case she hasn't done anything. If it were me, I would have been done 10 minutes after I said I'd do it. It is possible she's testing my patience. She has said several times that I need to be patient.

What if another week goes by? Do I say something? Let it go until she does it? Just don't know....

Thread closed

Part 2: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2164526#Post2164526