Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers 74 Days - Who Knows?

So you guys all see why I am having a difficult time being light about the situation with my wife.

Still trying.

Brief update...

I haven't spoken with my W since Wednesday night (my last update). She has been with her girlfriend down in southern Colorado. She did have a show down in that same area. No indication or evidence that OM was on that show... but no proof otherwise either.

W will drive back up to Denver tomorrow.... has another show here tomorrow night and then flies out to Philly to visit another girlfriend on Monday morning.

She will be back in town on Thursday. Then she drives to a show that she has in Aspen next Friday night. One that I'm a little more concerned about because it is a bigger show. More of a chance that OM will be on it than the one that she has tonight.

Not sure if I should ask her if OM is on the show in Aspen or not. I think that asking her makes me look insecure (which I am). And even if she tells me that he is on the show, if she knows, what can I do about it??

I hate feeling like this... not trusting someone that I have always trusted so much... and feeling insecure when I am not used to feeling that way...

Denver

It does. "Weak" and "needy" = "UNATTRACTIVE."

Whatever "verify" part of "trust, but verify" you choose to do, do it INDEPENDENTLY and discreetly, and be done with it. Asking the fox if he's planning on going to the henhouse only p*sses off the fox, and doesn't really deter him anyway.


Starsky

Denver, I apologize for my weak attempt at gallows humour.

Keep GALing Denver. Don't undo the therapeutic affects of her getting space right now. If she was doing anything with OM, your questions wouldn't stop it. But your outward respect of her space might help gain her respect for you.

Keep doing what you're doing - except the thinking part. What can you do to minimize that so you don't drive yourself crazy?

Thanks Talk and Starsky. No way to verify Starsky. The show on Friday is out of town. I just have to put it out of my mind and trust her I think.

Denver

ya think??? How about asking if YOU can go? (Then recall that you can't b/c of stupid trial if you really cannot go.)

Aspen is beautiful at this time of year.

If this isn't plausible then just get a grip buddy...you can do this.

Shelve the pain temporarily & stop the obsessing...even if you do it one day at a time...it works.

And if you "trust" her and she betrays you anyhow-

at least you'll know YOU did not cause it
or trigger it or blow it with your insecurites.

hey denver

you can't worry about that

he probably will not be there...and if he is, there is nothing you can do

you will drive yourself mad thinking about it...so don't (i know...i know)
but really, if he is nothing will happen

you need to start trusting her sooner or later

sooner will be more beneficial to you

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

snot on a wall

I don't want to ask her if I can go bc of the whole giving her the month of June to herself thing. Besides, my daughter gets into town on Friday (the day of her Aspen show). W is driving back on Saturday and will be picking SS up at the airport (he's returning from visiting his dad). It's just a crazy couple of days. If I ask if I can go, she will see right through it... that it is just me being insecure and not trusting her.

Sometimes you act like this should be easy 25. I'm trying to get a grip and stop obsessing... but it is so much easier said than done.

Thanks for the kick in the pants though 25.

Denver

LOL... I won't comment on the 'snot on the wall' comment!

Thanks grr... it has been great to have you there as support and encouragement throughout this ordeal.

And you are right. I need to start trusting her sooner or later. Might as well be now I guess.

Denver

Denver:

June is almost over. The worst of it is coming to a close so just be patient a little while longer. Really, what have you got to lose? You didnt think you would be in this position. Dont give her any amo to say " SEE, SAME OLD DENVER". IF she is seeing OM, again, nothing you can do.

I have a good feeling about this buddy. You will make it.

9

Thanks 9. I appreciate the support. One more week... and then, well, July to deal with. LOL... Funny how I've come to perceive increments of time over the past 7 months. I used to hardly notice the change in the months... now, they are goals. (sigh)