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It's well after 1 am and I can't sleep. I have no idea what is going on.

One of my friends ran into H earlier this week and he was with the OW that he is staying with. This OW is a coworker of his, she is significantly older than him, and he has always had a lot of female friends. As much as I'd like to think that H would be unfaithful while we are apart (we had discussed specifically not dating other people) It still creeps into my head from time to time. I remind myself that if he is #1-there is nothing I can do about it anyway & #2-that would be a mistake on his part, and it is by no means a reflection of me.

You know, when H first left, I beat myself up emotionally. I blamed myself for all of our problems in the M, and truly felt like I was a woman not worth loving. I am so thankful that I have worked through that and realized that not everything is my fault, and I am a great person.

I understand the feeling DG, 2am (almost 3) and I'm not sleeping either. Ugh.

I beat myself up too, but through all of this I finally learned how to forgive myself and move on from my mistakes. Not sure if W knows how to do that yet.

You are a wonderful person DG, as am I. It's really a shame our respective S don't know that!

^

Focus on the good days and let the bad ones go. You have to just live in the moment and try to be patient. I am working on that myself.

don't know where you are in terms of the R, but here's a thought.

You could send some flowers (not red roses)

and a card that says "It's still worth remembering"

and if you have kids, express gratitude that the m produced them.

just a thought. How are you feeling these days GAL?

I had a great day today! I spent it with both of my boys.
Parents of teenagers, you know how rare those times can be.
We cleaned out the garage together, got a bunch of stuff together to donate to Goodwill.
Stopped by my parents, hit up some garage sales, and treated them both to lunch.

When we got home, my S15 & I rearranged the cupboards in the kitchen.
I think it was my way of making this place a little more "me" rather than us.

We grilled with friends tonight, and then came home and walked with a friend.

Tomorrow we have plans to BBQ with some other friends, and I am looking forward to it.

Today I GAL 150%!!!

Good deal, DG. Glad to hear you are GAL'ing so strong! It really feels good, doesn't it?

It does feel good. I always have my H in the back of my mind though, but I think that is normal.

I have been "dark" from H for 4 days now. Some moments I find it difficult, while others it doesn't seem to bother me as much. Maybe if he were trying to contact me that would be a different story.
I miss him terribly, but I know I need to do this if I am ever going to get used to life without him.

Sounds like a great day DG!! Feels good to have days like that.

I feel exactly the same some moments are difficult and others are easier. My H is still in the house and I wonder if it would be easier if he was gone not sure.

I hope you have another great day today!!

I already am having a great day. Got my early morning walk in, it's gorgeous outside, and we're grilling at a friends house later on today.

I'm currently outside on my patio enjoying the sunshine.