I am uncertain whether I keep on being a nice guy, taking care of her and the home, or if I should work on detaching, doing things without her, not really paying attention to what she is doing. Wish I knew what to do.
Do what YOU want to do, and invite her along if she chooses to join you (but don't wait for her). "I'm going to thus-and-such; you're welcome to come along if you'd like." If she declines, don't be p*ssy or pouty; stay upbeat.
I'd suggest cutting back a little on the "doing lots around the house," unless you were slack in this area in the past? Focus on THE RIGHT THING TO DO, rather than trying to please your wife. Are there any home improvement projects that you've neglected, that need doing? I'd focus on those, rather than "cooking-and-cleaning" types of chores, unless you were boorish in that regard in the past.
She is clearly getting support from an old male friend out of state, but I don't think it is to the EA status. To the best of my knowledge, I think they text occasionally and talk on the phone every week or two.
She has cut off virtually every friend she has here, to the point that they quit calling because she would never answer them.
I am suspecting her depression-wracked mind is focusing like a laser on D and leaving town, as it is the only way she can imagine she will ever get out of the depression and be happy. She has no idea where she is going or what she is going to do at this point
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
