I am hanging with 'em so to speak. Had a pretty decent night with the W last night although she is going to meet with the L next week. I am getting ready to get out of town for about 9 days with my S.
TM...something that has really helped me "suck it up" are my AD meds. I still feel somewhat weak for needing them (probably a macho military thing), but I'll take any help I can get to make it through this and come out on the other side where I want to be. Really helps me from reacting to W.
BITS M: 35 W: 35 T14, M11 D9, S6 ILYBINILY: June 09 Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11 W came home: 3/17/11 EE: July 2012 Dropped the rope: Oct 2012 Piecing: April 2013 Not piecing: April 2014 Stuck.
Sorry I couldnt resist that. I do agree that getting all te help you need is important, and your chain will understand. I had to go see behavioral health over this when my command found out. It really helped and they can't harm your career by law. Things are tough as they are, get the help and support you need.
I agree with jb. I can tell that having W around is going to give me tremendous motivation in the GAL department. Time for continuous self-improvement. Be strong, tele.
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
Nothing new to report, so I suppose that's a good thing.
Just finished reading Hold On To Your N.U.T.s. Wish I would have read it 11 years ago; almost every page had some insight or advice that made me put my head back and say, "Yeah, I did that..."
But, it was a good read, and I recommend it. Of course it's target readership is men, but women might glean a thing or two from it.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
I'll check that one, also. I'm waiting for the arrival of the "Tough Love" book. I'm guessing it will have some good advice to help keep the sanity in place.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
I've been reading Any Chance's thread about how he is coping with living in the same house with his W. It's tough, and I replied to him that lately I think it would be easier if my W were not in the same house with me. I feel like I'm under her microscope 24/7.
But the most difficult part of this for me is the total absence of any affection. We are platonic housemates, and nothing more. 4 months ago we were (I thought) madly in love with each other, and constantly touched, hugged, kissed, made love...it is still very hard to think that all of that may be gone forever.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
Telemark, I'd have to say it cuts both ways. I lived under the microscope for about 3 months after bomb#2. While anything I didn't want my W to see was harder to hide, my changes and GAL were more visible. There was also a lot more pressure to move forward with the D. When she moved out, I felt a lifting of the pressure. Now I miss her. My changes and GAL aren't as visible. OTOH, we ended up having a very nice dinner together last week at her place. It also makes it easier to detach from her feelings.
