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9, I think you just need to be honest with yourself and figure out what you are hoping to accomplish by this. Is it going to help you or hurt you in getting to your end goal? I think there is a risk of sabotaging your game plan. If you are truly done with your W, you still may not be ready to take on this baggage, IMO. I can understand, though, and I can't say I blame you in your sitch.

My wife said the same stuff. But she'd rather rather quit the marriage on this issue than see how we could have worked out her issues.

I know many of you think I am bailing early on this. TBH, I would still entertain the idea of getting back ,but the amount of disrespect has been enormous. She has told me more than once. go get yourself a respectful girl that everybody would be proud of to go with your saintly ways. I'm the sinner so just let me live my sinful life.

And then she continues this path. So why dont I get a nice girl that is confident instead of waiting that maybe some day she will end it with OM and then possibly be over him and not want him back so that possibly she might someday come back to me and meanwhile, a great girl that wants to live on this island and is education passes me by.
9

Just do it!

9,

So, what's the answer to your question? I mean, at some level, you know it, right?

Often people are mean for the sake of exerting power over other people. Sometimes it is simply because they believe they know best, and they believe their rudeness is the best way to manipulate others. Occasionally it is a lack of empathy or simple awareness of their actions’ effects.

No one can make us feel any particular way; we can give them that power when we allow it to them. Just for today, choose to be nice, regardless of how anyone else behaves toward you. I take a perverse sort of pleasure in watching people who are trying to make me uncomfortable react to my blasé kindness.

Because they are expecting a different response, they get all shaken and uncomfortable themselves. It is true that we should always be kind, not because others are but because we are. However, if you want to watch someone squirm a little, respond kindly when they expect you not to.

Hey !

Just received a very strange text from her this morning although I have seen this type from her in March when she was talking about recon.

Quick Update> I have been dark for 2 weeks and counting. I havent responded to anything from her. Even the happy birthday she sent me on my BDay on the 30th of may.

She did text me the last couple of days about bday stuff for our son but really they were not really necessary.

Last night was our commencement at our school where most of you know I teach Phys Ed. I also had a soccer night where I coach young son. I had to miss the coaching and went to the graduation.

I got a feeling my wife was going to bring son down to soccer and expected to see me there. I wasnt there.

This morning a received a simple text. " The downward spiral begins" That was it. I didnt respond.


If you recall, in March when things where going bad for her and I was dark again, she texted me.

" If I die a suspicious death, will my insurance still honour the policy, can I leave everything to you and the kids"

In which case I called her immediately, we talked for hours and then she assured me she was 100% sure she was coming back to the relationship. That was in March.

Her last text had a similar feel but I am NOT going to bite on this one.

Any advice?

9

Was that sarcasm or a cry for help? Maybe a simple text like "U OK?" and just leave it at that. If you think it's a sarcastic text, I wouldn't respond at all.

Just my initial thoughts.

Sounds like you already gave yourself the advice. Nothing else to add here.

You've made HUGE progress over the last month or so. Keep it going.