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2Step, I'm quoting your words to you. They are your words friend. AMAZING POV IMO.

This is what you need to remember every time you look in the mirror. THIS is what motivated me! You hit a nerve on this one buddy.

This is the beginning of change. Believe it or not, this is what separates the Men from the boys; Women from the girls. You humbly acknowledge what you lost. Who cares whose fault it is? Bottom line is, you accept it. Now you better yourself. Don't sad sack in it, but rejoice in your mistake, up to her to figure out hers. KNOW you will become better and stronger. If you feel this way and you work on what you need to do for YOU; Who knows if she will see it, but your chances are higher. Better you feel this way, than have to have her point it out to you. This is a huge coming to the light man.

This is admitting your deepest fear and regret; now better yourself and life for a second chance. This chance includes your Wife or someone else. It doesn't matter at this point, just better YOU. IF she likes the new you, she will come to you.

Nice to see these words from you. There is hope...just keep that B!tch hope locked in the closet til you can handle her

2, well I have been obviously on hiatus from these boards for months now. I, too needed a break and there is really nothing to report on my end.

I just caught up and see you are still teetering on the roller coaster ride. You want to get off but you keep getting pulled back on. I'm sure it's hard to detach fully when your X keeps calling you. I fully think that we are all Plan B when their lives suck and I will not be Plan B for anyone. If your life [censored], quite rankly, I don't wanna hear about it. The only person who holds your fate is you. You made the choice to go, so if the grass isn't greener out there as you thought...oh well.

My STXH has never said his life [censored] since he left; he's always been "good" or "doing well". Ok, glad it's all working for you! I mean he would NEVER lead me to believe otherwise. And once my D is final in a few weeks, I'm not quite sure at this juncture I can and want to be friends with someone like him.

We all deserve a person who will meet us at the 50 yard line, to walk beside us and not in front or in back of us. I don't think our WAS's will ever get to the point of healing we have done. We are miles ahead of them and I've always said 2, it doesn't matter how or why we got here, we did and when our S's left, we really didn't have to do anything.

You are handling your interactions well. Keep up the good work.

AK:

Thanks for stopping by my thread man, I have always read your post on Denver's thread and enjoyed them. I appreciate the kind words.

KM:

Anytime man. I like your questions they keep me thinking.

ZEN:

Nice to see you back. I am not holding on to anything really but I do still feel I am not sure any of us stop. I would imagine with time it becomes less and less until you feel nothing. I am happy to report it is in that direction that I am heading.

Just want to say a few words about "US" being miles ahead. I want to believe that however, I feel that our WAS have been walking and feeling this path for a long time as well. Maybe they havent gone about it the right way, but I do believe they are where they thought they would be. Every sitch is different for sure.

Of course Im not sure about 2steps wife. She sounds like she is where she thought she would be and is making a statement. Maybe she thought it would be easier, IDK.

Im more concerned about 2step. I know hes trying very hard to detach and be the man that we all love on this board.

Keep going forward 2step. All the emotions you feel are there and real im sure. Just keep trying to swim for that shore without too many looks behind. Im guessing you will get a visitor on that disatnt shore in the future.

Either your W of a brand new woman that will appreciate the new 2step.

9

9 as always thank you for the kind words.

I agree with you in part I think they have done a much better job at detaching than we have and for the most part they appear to be further along than we are. In my case I know this to be true. I have struggled bad, much worse than I had ever anticipated.

I do think though that we have taken a different route than they have and we will reach a different level of peace they may never know, or the might. Who knows?

I'm doing the only thing left for me to do and that is to live my life as best as I can. A small part of me feels sad that this person I called my wife will never know the damage she has caused in my life, to include my D. I guess that is where faith comes in, the faith that god has a plan even if we do not know what it is. I know at some point I will be completely healed but I get impatient with my self and I get lonely.

It is a daily struggle one that I do not care to repeat.

I also get sad at the history.

The memories.

The words spoken

The words never spoken

So many things but we continue living.

Is she making a statement?

Maybe more to herself than to me.

Hard to know what to say right now 2step.

Your path is clear; it is just a matter of walking it now.

I know how hard it is though.

One (2) step at a time…

2Step, I hope you and your daughter find peace with all the mess that has been going on. I can imagine how hard this would be for your daughter. Right now your wife is lost, but one day she will realize what she has thrown away. I really liked what your buddy said to your wife. Keep being strong man !

Country:

You are right one step at a time is all any of us can do.


Karma:

My D is my biggest weakness and has been since this whole thing started. My buddy is pretty cool and he does not hold any punches. His response to her was very moderate, he does not want to spook her but he is even worse with me

"The words never spoken" that really hit me 2step. I think I know what you mean.

We did love our wives but did not Always show them that they were the most special people in the world to us. Somewhere along the way, LIFE got in the way and we should have made a better effort to let her know how important she was.

This will be forever something that I will regret. I did say it, but not enough.

9

9

Yes we made mistakes.

Yes there are plenty of things I would do differently now.

I can’t go back and change that but I can make dam& sure I don’t do it again.

In a way this sitch has been my awakening, my rebirth of sorts.

A few weeks ago I felt as if I would be forever jaded.

I don’t think that will be the case. Two weeks no contact right now and you know what? I am healing and I am ok. I have a prayer for her:

I want her to be happy, no matter what that means. I want her to find someone who will treat her with all the love she deserved from me. I want her to meet someone who will see her always as I do now.

I hope she does. Accepting this has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and while I still have days that I feel hallow for the most part I think I am doing OK.