Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Of Men or of Angels

Hey......

IMO....a healthy....R...starts..off......as...friends!

I'll..have....more...later.

Hugs!

Eric

True,

You are a good, wise, and patient man. You've done the work. I wish you all the best!

(((TG)))

What does that look like????

Or should I say, how does that get started??

I know that we are walking these miles together Grit, I am just wondering......who is going to throw out the idea??

You or Her???

I really am interested because I will tell you that in my sitch I will not be the one.....or at least that is the way I feel right now.

I am not saying that after all this time there is a right and a wrong and at some point after we have not "persued" for a long time.......Is it okay for the LBS to ask???

I will say that my DB friend that lives around the corner asked his W to try again.......they are reconciled now going on 9 months.



Is this part of us leading them back home?

or is this rescuing???

I am sorry to answer your post with questions Grit, I don't know your answers that is why I am asking them.

however

As I type them I am asking myself the same questions.

As much as we like the idea of a reconciled marriage there is that fear that we could interupt their journey.



I am glad you saw your W and not the alien, I am glad she is at peace.

You have a heart as big as the ocean Grit, please be careful. Don't venture too far from shore.

Walking the miles with you brother.

Cheers

Gritter. Notice anything here?

I know you posted shortly after all of this.

All I am suggesting is cautiousness. Give yourself time to think about all of this. I know you will.

Peace man.

I feel.

Yes I felt today. And that is why I didn't decide today. Or tomorrow or the next probably.

I chose those words on purpose. Because that is what it is right now.

I understand man.

Feelings are truly part of what makes us human. Of course. They are great. They are sad. Sometimes they are very destructive.

Feeling is part of us. Something we should never hide from or ignore.

The risk is....

Letting them be the sole source of our actions.

I know I am not saying anything new. [censored]. You probably said something similar to me at one point. (BTW man. You made me think like no other)

So... Feel.....then...think...then decide....then act.

I'm happy you have had this positive BTW.

You'll get the moon on a stick some day.

True,

I went back and read some of this thread after I read your update.

Take your time my friend.

Face your fears, but know they won't disappear over night. Whichever road you choose, they are dragons that you are going to have to slay one by one. As time passes.

Personally, I think any of us who still hold love in our hearts, would have to ask ourselves the what if's...

And depending on where we are within our own life, we might decide that those what if's are worth the risk...

You met your W yesterday, but was she really your W? Or just a woman, who used to be your W, that captured your interest a bit? (You know, like a new person would?)

MHL asked who would initate this...

In your case, I would bet it is going to have to be you who would have to ask for a date...

The worst that would happen is that she would say no...

Is it worth the risk?

True, knowing you and your sitch, I believe you already have your answers...

And you know we are behind you, which ever way you choose to go.

(((hugs)))

Cat

Mr Gritter...

How many licks, does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop ?



Depends on which method YOU choose...


It doesn't have to be one or the other, today


One.... completely destroys


The other.....takes time and patience, and a consistent , deliberate action to get to....


You can choose to begin the second way, and then change to the first...

But if you choose the first one, first, there is no switching....

The best part is.....that it is your choice of which method to use...


Sincerely,

Mr Owl

And the world may never know...



I realize this is the case and I am fine with it.

She is giving up because of the dragons.

"I don't think we can be married because YOU don't like my personality"

This is not the first time she has copped out on our M with this one.

She is facing judgement from many different sources if she returns to me.

Its too hard.

Do I want to be with someone who is unwilling to go through the fire for our M?

Who will tuck tail and run because she is afraid of being judged?

Does our m deserve better? Do I deserve

I never asked her if she was seeing someone. I don't think so.

I feel like placing this thing right at her feet and saying

"If you think we can't do it. If you think you don't want to. If you think it was a mistake. If don't believe in our M. If you think you can't then that is YOUR choice.

If you are choosing this because you think I don't like your personality then why would I be still standing here after all this time?

Think again. And make the decision based on your own reasons. You don't get to read my mind. My actions should tell you where I am.

I will sign these papers with you if you decide you don't want this.

If you want to try. I am willing to do that.

It is up to you. No regrets."

I am just thinking out loud as I process all this. She is still playing the victim card.

Our M is over because I don't like her?