Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Can I close the door and leave it unlocked?

So I have not had any contact from W since that text on Saturday, and she did not repond back to my short reply. I don't know what is going on. If she really meant what she wrote and I am never going to hear from her again. I use never loosely, we will have things to talk about obviously. But she never even contacted me about the bills she said she wanted to discuss.

I am doing ok today. I miss my W, but I am not obsessing about it. I pray for her all of the time. That is all the control that I have, all I can do for her. The rest is out of my hands. I am still doing plenty of things for myself, so that is good. I just need to get in the gym more. All of this running is just making me lose weight, and I think I have lost enough over the last 7 months, not that I even had that much to lose. I tell you, this has been one heck of a diet plan, one that nobody would buy either.

Glad you're doing a little bit better today, islander. That was a pretty big blow a few days ago.

I hear you about the diet plan. I've lost 23lbs. myself this year, and if lose more than 10 more, I will be too thin. I'm enjoying the weight loss. However, I don't think anybody would buy the plan either nor would I wish on anyone.

Great to see you are feeling a little better.

We should go into business. Just get your heart and soul ripped out and lose the weight. I was about 195 now down to 150 and holding but I have been hitting the weights as well. Its all good in that respect but at what price right?

My w has also lost so much weight but I thins she will gain it back as she doesnt exercise.

Keep being positve Islander.

9

220 to 185 myself...back down to fighting weight! Kinda [censored] cause most of my clothes don't fit right now, but I'll take it. No one would want to do this diet though, you're right about that.

Hope you have a good day Islander.

195 to 170 (bad) back to 180 (good).

So W called a little bit ago, which was a surprise bc she usually texts me when she needs something, and I haven't talked to her in almost 2 weeks.

She called to let me know that she received a couple calls from a credit card company saying we owed money, but we have been paying our bills. I told her it was probably for the person that had our phone numbers previously, as we got new phones a while back.

Then we just talked a little bit about our upcoming car insurance bill, and then for a few minutes about nothing in particular. I told her that I had saved a little money on the side to help with the bill, and she said she would see how much she could come up with. The rest I will borrow and we will pay back asap. Then we talked about saving for the bill monthly, so in 6 months we are not in this position. I am not reading into that at all either, I can promise that.

I wanted to ask her specific questions about us, but I did good acting as if, and told her about a little of the work I was doing to our house.

At one point she said something, and I thought I might have heard OM in the background. Whatever!!! I can't even say forsure what I heard, and I know it doesn't matter. I think I did ok though, better than I have done in the past.

194 down to 171 myself. And sorry islander for starting the hi-jack of thread with the stats.

Good job on the convo.



Exactly! You can't focus on that right now.

No problem, hi jack whenever.
I have started to rethink what going dark means for me. I don't think it means ignoring my W when she calls or texts me. That is not going to get me anywhere. If I had made the decision to move on, then I think that would be appropriate. Bit I haven't, and it's not.

So, I will respond to her by being friendly when she calls or texts me. I will not contact her unless it is absolutely necessary.

I think this is the better approach

I think that is a good approach. I always respond because as you say not responding is not going to get us anywhere. I think too, that if we don't respond, it looks like we are playing mind games with them and that is not good either. Same thing with being vague or mysterious, I think most WAW's see right through all of this.

Re Diet Plan: I went from 152 to 168. Hour and half in the gym 5 days a week. Only thing that allowed me to keep my sanity through all of this. Outside looks great, too bad I am just a shell of a man because my insides are all screwed up!

It just makes more sense to me. Look what happened when I stopped talking to her. She suggested that we both go our separate ways. That is not what I want right now. I wouldn't be here if it was, so a different approach is called for.

Punchy, atleast with your plan, you didn't end up looking as horrible as you felt. At 170, I looked a little sick to say the least. I need to get back in the gym as I haven't went with any consistency since November. Like tomorrow, I could go but then I wouldn't be able to go fishing. I guess I have to change my priorities a little.

Yeah a fundamental principle of DB'ing is to simply do what works, what gets you the results. If something is not working, do something else. If something is working, keep doing it.

I think your thinking is on the right track, islander.