Hey sparks Have been trying to keep my posts to other threads at a minimum since I haven't been a good DBer lately.
I do have to say that I agree with patience assessment. This tough girl thing is present in other sitch's too. Her outbursts and inability to handle financial matters without getting frustrated and losing her temper, shows that things aren't ok. She's very frustrated, can't admit that to you, so she can only pretend that all things are your fault. She knows the truth, you know it too. Validating does not apply here IMHO. Yes understand things are hard for her, but leaving was her choice. Even if she left because of your failings, it was still her decision. She could have just as easily chosen to stay while you worked on those issues. Instead she left.
Even if things don't work out, as long as you are still coparenting I can tell she will blame her problems on you. Accept your shortcomings don't let her blame EVERYTHING on you.
If everything you post is true, you are a good man. Do not let her demonize you so she can validate her ridiculous mental misconceptions, about you the world, and men in general. If you read my thread, specially recently you can tell I've had many issues, but one of the few things I can truly be proud of is standing up to her and letting her now that I will not let her blame me for everything that goes wrong.
I agree - it sounds like everything is not coming up roses for her, but she isn't, in my limited opinion, ready to come home or really work with you on things beyond son/therapy time. I would say she needs more time to come through the anger and realize what she's done. She feels out of control w/ money, so she's trying to make that your fault too.
Faith is, at one and the same time, absolutely necessary and altogether impossible. --Stanislaw Lem
