Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Trying to love my WAW from a distance

Got a little hectic after work today. Left a little early. Grilled out some burgers for dinner. Barely had enough time to make it to the softball game, but we made it.

The significance of the softball game was it was my first game in 25 years. (Yes, I was around 18 the last time I played). Went 0/3 on three fly outs, caught a ball in the outfield for an out, but I still had a blast. So I walked away a winner.

I get home and my W is at the house. I have her ringing the doorbell now before coming in. We had talked earlier on the phone and we had a good conversation. All relatively small talk, but it was almost like nothing's going on.

I was very positive and upbeat when she stopped by. I was still giddy from playing my first softball game in 25 years. I did falter at the end by saying I didn't know if I can keep up with all of these pets (dog, cats, fish) and was stressing me a bit, but I did clarify it was only the pets.

I hate to admit it, but I miss her already.

She seemed to be in a good mood. That's two days in a row. I think it's going to take some time...

Day 3 after W moving out.

I am very tired today. It was after 1 when I got to bed last night and I got about 10 til 7 to go for a 3mi. run.

Turned out to be a hectic morning. I will eventually get my routine down. I was feeling bitter and resentful toward my W, especially since she seemed to be in a good mood last night.

I had a dream last night that my W asked me if I wanted to put the D on hold, but she followed up with "Not that I don't want it, I just want to put it on hold for now." What is up with that?

I know what you mean by having to take care of the pets. I kept the fish and cat, she had to take the dog. It was literally toooo much to handle, along with the cleaning and yard work. It gets stressful, then you miss them and feel bad on top of it.

That's awesome about the softball game. I have wanted to do that to, I just can't find time.

Yeah, I think I'm going to try find some room in my budget if at all possible to pay someone to clean the house and cut the grass. I look at it as buying time with my S and for myself.

I'd rather pay someone to do those things than pay a shrink.

If you can afford it that is the way to go. Time is precious right now, and would be better spent with your son like you said.

My S and I had a pretty decent evening together. It started raining right when I got home. I was going to cut the grass, but this pretty much cancelled it.

I am changing the rules at the house. I had him help me fix dinner for the two of us. I also had him help me clean up after dinner. I think it will be a good thing.

We walked up to the park and goofed off on the tennis court for awhile before he went to bed.

Fortunately, my job is flexible enough that I can get him off to school in the morning and leave early. I am experimenting with working from home after he goes to bed.

Then some disturbing news...one of our neighbors called my W and said S had asked their kids if they ever thought about running away. S also told them we are getting a D and Mom is moving to an apartment. W called me about this LATE. I wanted to say "See what you're causing!". But we are both genuinely concerned.

Day 4 after W moves out.

Had breakfast with S today before the bus came. Called him out on the whole running away thing. He said he first thought about either when we told him about a D or when my W announced she was moving. Don't know what to think about this one. All I can do is talk through it with him. I'll get him a C if necessary. He's definitely very unhappy about the sitch. Is he imitating his Mom? Who says kids are resilient? Total crap!!

A C might be a good idea. It would provide your S a place to truly express his feelings to a neutral third party. A lot of kids withhold from their parents because they are confused and/or don't want to make things worse. Just a thought.

That's kinda what I was thinking LP. Even though my S told me on the phone after school that running away is something he'd never really do. No. I don't want to mess around with that.

We exchanged my S tonight after my W got home from work. Since she moved out, she came to the front door. I invited her in. She sat down and we talked for a bit. She invited me to go out to eat tonight. I declined in favor of cutting the grass. (Maybe tomorrow night?) It just mystifies me sometimes. We have a decent conversation and she's inviting me to go out for dinner with her and my S.

This is a few days in a row SHE's been positive and upbeat. I have been the same way with her. She seems to be really happy with apartment life right now. I don't know whether that's a good or bad thing.

I am not sure right now when she is going to bring up the D again. I hope never, but I don't think that's realistic. I am just preparing myself for when she does.

She asked for my help tonight connecting up her TV and DVD player or asked if I would help. I just said sure...when I can find the time to do it...

Don't know how to read all this, but I'm just taking it one day at a time. I am trying not to let it dictate my feelings.