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GAL

Mr. Bond- I am GAL for myself. I do go out and enjoy life, but my S and my M are always on my mind.

Ruberband it DG!! Snap it as much as you need.

DG. It just takes time. There is no quick fix. Even if you decided to give up, you are still going to feel just as much pain as you do right now. Just hang in there.

Fake it till you make it. While you are faking it, you still hurt just do your best not to show it. Then one day you won't need to fake it. The goal, atleast for me, is to have more good days than bad days.

I *think* I am doing an ok job of faking it until I make it.
I unload all my thoughts and feelings when I am here, but to the rest of the world, I am doing well. (Well and I talk to my therapist also)

I do agree that I need to drop the rope and detach, and that will be my goal for the next few days.

[quote]and that will be my goal for the next few days.[/quote]

I don't think your timetable is realistic here. Look around, there are people who have been here for months and months and have not truly detached.

This is a process.

Tonight my S10 & I went to dinner together and we got on the subject of prayer. I asked him if he prayed and he said yes, and we started talking about things we pray about. He told me he prays that H will come home.
Hearing that broke my heart. Especially because there is a very good possibility that may never happen.

I told him I think it's great that he prays for people, but if for some reason H doesn't come home, it doesn't have anything to do with anything he or his brother did.

I feel lower than low right now. I never truly realized how hard this was for him.

Last night we got some strong storms, and I am terrified of storms.
Tornadoes, more specifically. H sent me a text asking if I was ok because he knows how frightened I get, and I answered back that I was.
That was the end of the interaction.

Once the storms subsided it was beautiful out, and it felt good to be able to sleep with the windows open. I absolutely love that feeling.

I was reading other posters sitch's last night on the Separated board, and a lot of the advice was very helpful for me, and I feel a lot better about things right now.

Baby steps........

My S is 10 as well. It is incredibly hard for them. It's not fair at all - they don't get a vote in this whole thing. Us LBS'ers don't either, but it's so much harder on the kids. My parents D'd when I was 13 and I think I buried a lot of it to the point where I haven't remembered the total impact.

Glad you didn't have any tornadoes and you are OK.

I think a little differently. I did have a vote and used it when I decided to be the way I was to him.