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I am at a loss for a clever title to this post. I also apologize because I can't like all my previous threads in here from my phone, but I think it's safe to say that a lot of people on here know me and my situation.

It's hard to believe that we are into May. When H left in Feb it was the day of a big snow storm and now there isn't any snow on the ground. Having the nicer weather certainly does help.

My kids came home from their Dad's yesterday and brought me some flowers to put in a pot. My S10 also gave me a table cloth that he found at a garage sale with a big stain on it. I suppressed my laughter because I know it was the thought that counts. Heck, I might put it on my kitchen table anyway, stains and alL. I feel blessed that they thought of me.

We didn't do much other than just hang out and watch tv together, but it was still a great time. I am reminded that I am very lucky and blessed to have such awesome kids.

And I meant *link* sorry. Haven't had my morning caffeine yet.

Sounds like you had a good day yesterday. And you are right, time is flying right now, it's crazy really!

That is awesome!! Good for you DG!

Journaling-----

I just miss him. Ugh.

DG:

I know the exact feeling. I know how counterproductive it is to feel this way and to dwell on it but for some reason today. The hole is huge in my heart. We will get over this some day DG. You know it and I know it, its a matter of time but in the meantime, There will be pain, god there will be pain.

Nothing worth having doesnt come with some sort of fight, Got to kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight.

Lyric from Bruce Coburn- Canadian artist.

Hang in there and Iwill try and do the same.

9

Thanks 9, I appreciate it.

I wish I could put into words how I feel without sounding whiny or clingy.
I just miss him, and I feel like our sitch is hopeless. I know it isn't really, but it's what it feels like for me in this moment.

I love him so much, and I messed up so bad.

Journaling again----

I wish I had a crystal ball.
I would like a glimpse of what my life will be like 1,5 even 10 years from now.
More than anything, I hope I am happy and healthy, as well as my children.

It would be nice.

Hi. Reading up on your sitch. Thanks for stopping at my thread. I did update. would like your input. Thanks.

DG, looks like we're back on the roller coaster again...I'm starting to hate this ride, might have to try the teacups or the bumper cars next time.

I got back from the great Mother's Day celebration we were at yesterday and all I could think about was the possibility that I might not ever have kids of my own with W. Tore me apart last night, but I was able to get it together before seeing her today.

I wish I had some sage advice. All that comes to mind is a quote: "If you can dream it, you can do it." Visualize and attack...that's what I'm trying to do.

Best of luck DG, I wish nothing but the best for you.

Moose