Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Walk-Away-Spouse WAW Please Help Me.

Hey Please,

If you could have read my thread from 2 years ago, it would almost read verbatim. You are embarking on a long road of emotional ups and downs. I am two years into my situation and now the W is going after sole custody to get what she wants. i heard the controlling, you name it. The fact is, you learn the hard way on why the marriage got to this point. I know I had culpability in the downfall of the marriage. Your W is racked with guilt in breaking up the family which is why she isn't sleeping.

What I have learned through all this is that you can only lie to yourself for so long about how you feel. Eventually, your body is going to tell you that you can't do it anymore. It took me along time to understand that. After my W moved out, i ran to eharmony to find the next W. I learned then I wanted love so bad, you will lie to yourself to get it. Well 8 months in, the same thing was happening. I couldn't like to myself any longer. i too wasn't in love with my Wife any longer. i wasn't in love with the girl I was dating. That is where my insomnia came from for years.

Now your wife is facing the same things. I used to think love is a choice. It isn't. It is something that has to come from your heart, not your head. You can only control yourself right now. You can't control or change her emotions. Either she is going to find that love for you again or she won't. You wouldn't want someone anyway if they didn't love you. I used to think it would be ok, you can be with someone if you weren't totally in love with them. I know now, that isn't the case. No matter how much you think they are the right person for you. It has to come from your heart.

I hope your W finds that love for you again. My didn't and I am still learning. It is a long road. Take it day by day. Keep going forward. Remember, you have to be OK. For you first so that you can be there for your kids. I am still struggling as well, otherwise I wouldn't be here...

Well, I haven't posted in a while. Things are pretty much the same. W goes from cold in conversations and email to really outgoing. Last night after seeing a movie she called me at 11pm to tell me about it. What????? Normally she would not call me at that time at night. Called me three time while I was golfing this morning. Just wanted to see how I was doing. Telling me that "I hope you have a wonderful weekend..." She invited me over for dinner last Sunday. Held my hand while we watched a movie called "Somewhere in Time" with Christopher Reeves. Yawn!

I have been in contact with my attorney(very expensive). Moving forward with plans to protect my ass...ets/interests. What to keep "the house." I want my kids to continue to live in the house they were raised in. This decision doesn't make financial sense. The house is way too big (expensive to heat and cool). But it one constant that I provide for my kids though all of this turmoil.

I have gotten to a different place emotionally. I am accepting the fact that the most likely outcome is divore. I have gone to some divorce support groups locally. I have met some nice people. Been doing stuff!! A lot of golf, biking, etc. Which I enjoy.

Oh, I don't know if I have mentioned that she has on numerous occasions mentioned that "it might just happen that we could get remarried if this ends in divorce." That is about the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Has anyone else heard such non-sense??????

She is trying to assuage her guilt of breaking of the family by calling you and talking about remarriage someday. She gets her relief by saying those things.

Pleaseexplain ...

OK ... It's 6/24/11. Over 1 month later. No you've left me too curious. What's your status with your W?

Sounds like you were taking great strides toward GAL, so I hope that continues.

MLC World

Yes, it has been a while since I posted. Things have gone pretty cold btw me and stbx. We have a date in late August where things may be final. However, since the last post we did go to a Michael Buble' concert and to a movie/dinner. She told me that she had a great time. We talked about relationship. She cried. Said that it is lonely at times. But, since these dates we have little contact. I continue to GAL. Actually, I am enjoying that. I must admit that I have met some women. Have had some drinks/coffee conversation. As of this moment...no "extra curriculars." Just talk. So in essence, I have gone dark (more like a black out;Hee, Hee...).

I have accepted that this is over. Now I am preparing to move on.