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Sweetie, I think I told you that you will be feeling all kinds of things in the coming days and weeks. It is normal to feel lost.

While many feel it is just a piece of paper, I dont completely agree. It is the legal dissolution of a long term marriage. And that, no matter how you slice it, is a sad thing.

It is so not what you thought your life was going to be like. And while you think going through this that you've wrapped your mind around that, often when the divorce is final, you realize you havent totally.

Your h had no choice in his crisis but to blame you. If it wasnt your fault, then it was his and that is just more than they can handle.

I know it hurt. I'm so sorry it did.

I will tell you that it will be awhile before your xh realizes that you are not the cause of his unhappiness. He is not happy now. He just doesnt know why.

P, be kind to yourself in the coming days. I always say you feel what you feel.

You will get through this, too. We will help.

++

Punkin,

You are right that your husband is moving forward and you are standing still.....

The standing still is healing and strength gathering for positive forward movement.

X movement is moving forward on the hampster treadmill.

You will be better before he will.
Peace.

Punkin, I went through exactly the same thing just after my D was final. It felt like square one. In fact that part sort of intensified about a month after it was final. Then things started to change, slowly. I'm riding such a high now that it's hard to imagine that level of depression, though I do know it is just over that edge--I was at a party last night and got very gloom and doom in my own head on the way home, as I was, yet again, the only person there who wasn't married or in a relationship (and that counts a friend's mom in her 60's who is remarried recently). So it's on the periphery. But in general I see more happy and peaceful moments than sad ones, and you will too.

Like Holly says you are gathering strength.

I like how you said we were like a graduating class. It's uncanny how close a lot of our timelines are and I do think it has been a real source of collective strength.

((((Punkin))))

Hi Punkin. I really don't have anything to add. I just wanted to give a hug.

Stay strong.

Tad

Punkin, Brooklyn and Antonia are right, and it both is and it isn't a piece of paper. It ends our relationship formally, and it isn't what we wanted.

A month or so on you will feel almost certainly feel better.

You know your h isn't right in his heart and mind and soul. If he were, and it was really the marriage, he would not be with the woman he is with, and his kids and grandkids would understand, at least to some extent.

That they try and make us feel bad for their inadequacies is an index of what is wrong with them. He walked out on you because he wasn't man enough to face his demons. And may never be. But now he cannot blame you. However in MLC land things take a long time to sink in. Who in their right mind would ditch treasures like Antonia, and Mila, and Brooklyn and all those other great people who post here [by naming these three I am excluding no-one btw!].

You will feel better and here is a hug. (((((((( )))))))

Thanks for all the support. Couldn't make it without you. ((()))rightbackatcha. Glad to be getting back to work today. It helps to stay busy. Maybe I should get a weekend job to stay busy then, as well? Finally got to sleep last night around midnight.
Just a rough patch, guys. Knew I could count on you to get me over it.

Thanks for always being there.

Better still today. Kept busy yesterday and after work in the yard, watering plants. Summer is starting to tune up here after all the rains, and it is going to be a hot one. A friend I know who charts weather patterns says we are due a drought this year. Hope he's wrong about that.

After work today, I am tanning, picking up my GD6 and taking her with me to GS2 Tee-Ball Game. D25 is graduating from college on Saturday with her Associates. Now going for a teaching degree. Proud of all my kids.

Trying to put this back into perspective and taking it one day at a time. As is my habit, I keep trying to plan my life for the next six months. Currently can't plan for the next six hours! Anyway - Hanging in there.

Hope everyone has a great day.

With cold beer in hand I hope.


That is all you can do.
Wow…Punkin…I step away for a few months, come back and YOU sound GREAT! Good for YOU!

God Bless,
Eric

Hey Eric,

Thanks for the visit, but I wonder at your definition of sound GREAT! I'm okay, but overall, Feel like (censored) ( I'll just go ahead and do that for you Jack)

WARNING: This post divorce crap is a biotch. Aa Brooklyn told me, just when you think you have your mind wrapped around the entire concept . . . Uhmmm, maybe not.

Visited your thread, and you do sound GREAT. I'm very happy for you, just be aware your emotions may not be as squared away as you like when the big D comes.

Pun

Just wanted to thank you for being here. You are one great lady in my book. Well as far I can tell anyway they thought Eileen Wournos (Monster) was a agreat lady too.

But you probably are. I know you are...