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Last thread was over 100 posts and there has been a major development, so time for a new thread.

W just called, her dad was found unconscious. W was of course extremely upset, crying, etc, so I do not have much information at this point.

She was very confused with what to do with our D. I told her I would do what ever she needed me to do. I offered to go up there with her, she declined.

She decided to take D up there with her. All I could say is that I understand and that I will do anything she needs me to do. It ended with me saying that I would pray for them.

I am at a lost for words. I don't know what will come next and how to handle all of this.

I stayed very calm on the call, but had a hard time knowing what to say. I want to be there for her so bad.

I could really use some help all.

You handled that extremely well CS. You offered her your support, so all you can do is provide it if she ask.

Like I said, I just want to be there for her so bad.

It tears me up that she does not want me there.

You see someone you care about so much hurting, and I cannot help. She doesn't want me to help.

I want call MIL and offer support, but then I think I'll just be getting in the way.

I just don't know. I want to call W and say I'll drive up and get a hotel, be there just in case she needs me.

I just want to help!

This. ^^^ More than this and you'll only smother -- and annoy -- her.


Starsky

Country

Don't call MIL.

I know this is tough. Just be the rock for her if she calls upon you.

Anything else is asserting YOUR agenda.

I think you handled it well. You offered her your support and anything that she needs. She may have declined, but she KNOWS you will help her in any way IF she needs it.

I would not offer again. Let her have her space and deal with it in her own way.

If you had/have a good R with your MIL, by all means I think it would be ok to call, and I would.

Just don't pressure your W right now.

That is exactly what I was thinking. The last thing I want to do is make anyone feel like I am using this as an opportunity.

It's just so hard to sit back and do nothing. But if that is what the W wants, I need to give that to her.

Sorry CS. That's really tough.

No interference. You offered, it was declined, that's all you can do.

If relationship with FIL is decent and everything ends up good, then you could visit him FOR YOU. Your concern for another human being.

I called to check on her. It sounds like he had a massive stroke. It sounds very bad at this point, but it is still so early.

She was just so distraught when I talked to her before, I just wanted to see how she was doing, and make sure she knows I am there for whatever she needs.

She was actually very appreciative of the call. She started breaking down again. Her dad was in very good shape, and is only in his 60's, this comes as a complete surprise, so she is very much in shock.

Whether the follow up call was a good idea or not, I know it is all I can do for now. If she does not want my support, it hurts, but I will understand and respect her wishes.

I really like her dad. He is someone I respect very much. This is very difficult.

Country, you handled it perfectly.

I will keep him in my prayers.