Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers I'm still here all these years later

Interesting that our spouses are all about 40. Anyway, do not want to hijack BTMs thread. I'm going to start a new thread about the particulars of spouses involved with other people at work. I think there are some things unique to these situations that might be worth some space on the board....

Don't worry about the hijack. I've been here so long, I consider my threads community space. I'm not sure I want to define my STBX as a MLC, but the age range seems to be extremely common here. Starting a thread about work based affairs/relationships is a great idea. I am willing to bet we will see a large portion of WAS at age 40ish in that particular thread.

Grats on a week!

I have to make it through today before I can call it a week. Taking S17 to work today and picking him up is going to be tough. I know who and what is in that building!

I just found out from D19 that STBX actually did have a job interview yesterday. Of course, it doesn't pay enough for her to quit current job. It would pay enough to be a second income in our home. But..not enough when you are separated and involved with boss at your current job. D19 also said that STBX and boss are not affectionate at work - at least not where people can see them. There is always the locked office! Still, since STBX is always at work, that's not bad news. Funny part - funny in a sad way - D19 also said that STBX's boss/lover said she could leave.

I'm a little bitter today. I think it shows.

Day coming to and end which means I made it to one week of 100% dark. My goal is stay this way until STBX's birthday in late June. Then - a simple call to note her birthday and a genuine "how are you?".

One week down. 7 weeks to go.

*highfive*

Great to have a plan as to when to "test the waters".

It's been 8 days of 100% dark now. I believe that is the longest STBX and I have even gone without contact of any kind in over 22 years.

Last night I tried to GAL and went to a local Mexican restaurant for Cinco De Mayo. I went with a female friend (only) from work and some people she knows. I was trying to meet new people. The night was just ok, but I though of STBX the whole time. I thought of all our vacations to Mexico and worse the trip she just went on to Mexico with her boss. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to go to a Mexican themed spot.

On to day 9. I am doing my best to stay busy, plan for a life without her, GAL and everything else we are supposed to do, but I miss her so much it hurts. No wonder I turned a blind eye to her EA and likely PA with her boss for so many years. No wonder I was happy for her crumbs. At this moment, I would take those crumbs like a pathetic little dog.

I will find strength later in the day, like I almost always do. I just had to get my feelings out somewhere safe.

Yeah it really is terrible to feel that way. To see yourself as a weak person that would put up with anything to get her back but I think those feelings will fade with time.

You are just terrified right now and have taken a blow to your self esteem. This will pass with time and you will grow to have more worth in yourself more and more as time passes.

You will see.


Good luck to you. Its great that you are venting to this board and not to her.
EVER.

9

Day 9 of 100% dark about to go on the books. I realize there really is nothing to be gained by contacting now, but I still find it difficult. It drives me nuts that she won't be the first to contact either. I sooooooo want to hear that her and OM are not doing well. They just don't deserve to live happily ever after. I know....I know....I can only control my life and my actions. I need to live happier ever after than them. Easy to type. Not so easy to live.