Sorry you find yourself in this situation. Fact is that you're acting honorably while your W is being in her selfish phase. It's nothing about you.
So my question is...why do you feel compelled to still bail her out? Something as simple as a light bulb should be done by her. You don't keep enabling her.
Is she still living at home? If so, then I would suggest confronting her about her accusations and hitting her with a truth dart.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
The vehicle is actually mine, so I just made the repair. She had just used it one day when we switched vehicles.
She does not live at home... Moved out into her own high priced apt around Nov 1st 2010.
I have had ZERO contact with W for quite a while now, not sure if I want to confront her about her accusations or just ignore them... Others who know me know they are not true.
I have stuck to my guns as far as no contact goes, but so has she. Not sure what to do at this point, so I'm just gonna hunker down and zip it.
Easter weekend very fun with kids... Easter egg hunt... Egg coloring... Crafts... This morning I set up flour on table with footprints and gnawed carrots and stuck some frayed cotton ball in the front door like bunny got it's tail stuck as it left. D3 thought a bunny was loose in the house so she clung onto me while she looked for her basket. Cute
Gonna have breakfast with my babies and chomp a few pieces of candy.
Thanx BTW
It's very tough once they are gone, with OM (2 failed relationships already... Onto her 3rd), and outa sight and outa mind as far as I'm concerned. I have not budged regarding contact... Neither has she. I guess I'll wait a while and shut my mouth.
B2BD, I cannot offer advice. My W is pretty much exactly the same.
She will have moments of contact, but is otherwise n/c all the way. She also has had similar, public (friend) outbursts about how I'm such a bad husband. And I used to get caught up in it... I'm better, now... but I do still get sucked into it from time to time.
So here's the deal. There's nothing that I can offer for advice other than, keep doing for you. Understand that right now is what could be the rest of your life. It is about you and the kids, right now, and forever.
One day maybe it will be all about family, your W included. It is not, right now. So right now, your focus and energy should pull significantly further away from your W. For your sake and for the sake of the kids.
W's Great Grandfather & Great Grandmother just emailed me... Said W can't make it to their picnic, so they asked me to come with the kids. I thought that was a nice gesture. I do miss them and I know kids will have fun, so I plan to attend. With the W not there, I think everything will be fine and not at all awkward.
Just to update looks like W has yet another new man. W has been drinking alot since she left 6 mos ago... Now she can go out after work and obviously she does!
W did not have the at all for Easter weekend... But posted how much fun her Easter was. Kids go to her house the following Monday expecting to look for their Easter baskets there (which was W's selling point to kids in the beginning how they'd have 2 holidays to celebrate now that mommy and daddy would be divorced. She told the kids she looked everywhere, but couldn't find any baskets... No candy or anything for them... Very crappy! Especially since she receives a child support payment and barely has them!!! That pissed me off... She only bought them one or two items on Christmas too.
She has money for drinking, money for dating, money to take her friends out to lunch, but can do something nice for our children. DISCUSTED
Oh I forgot to add... My sister does the switches of the kids when W arrives... This morning she said W looked like a wreck... Eyes bloodshot and looking hungover... And Sis said she smelled of alcohol like from the night before. I wish I had been home, she would not have left with them. This lady has seriously lost her Fn mind!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I think so for the most part, but her wants CERTAINLY come before the kids needs. I am concerned about her dropping them off at a sitter for overnights and also having a young girl babysit while she goes places... A big big deal considering she only has them 1-2 days a week. I feel like her actions indicate the kids are a hinderance in her life... What mother would not want their kids more, what mother would refuse to take them, what mother would pawn them off on someone REGULARLY when you have such limited time with them already? Idk? But I feel bad for the kids alot.
The upside is her loss or lack of interest is my gain... I see SOOO much more than she does... I see them grow so much more than her... I think they will always love her, but she will likely loose an important connection with them and they may have resentment toward her down the road.
My son said to me in the car mommy said you aren't together anymore because you guys always fight. It made me angry, because she lies to them about what happened to protect her image. I still remember the tome she asked me if we could just tell the kids we just wanted different things instead of the truth as to why I filed (infidelity, lies, self respect).
I was angry because my kids are too little to understand the situation. I feel if she isn't gonna tell the truth (and nows not the time), she should not discuss the topic at all. Brainwashing my kids with her life of lies!! All I said to my son was, your too young to understand, but when your older I will tell you everything, right now all you need to know is that mommy and daddy love you.
