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no, he has not shown any remorse. He is sorry that I was hurt, but he says I left the marriage first 1 year ago. In his tiny head, he doesn't feel he had an affair (we were not intimate or living as a couple, more roommates) In his brain he wants a to "start a new" whatever that means.

I am so confused about him. On the other hand, I love my life NOW. Of coarse I love all the attention. But...is it worth it? This journey brought me sooooo far.

I have not posted in some time. Things are moving along for the better. My H and I still live apart, my choice.

We spend 1 evening during the week together, usually dinner, and the weekends together. We DO NOT have any R talks, but I have caught him making statements about the future. We are talking/planning a trip to Panama in July. Not soooo sure I want to do that yet.

We did have our first arguement in 6 months on Friday (not counting the night I threw him out). The next day we met for lunch and he asked me to NOT to discuss "us" with my sister in the future. I, in turn asked him to only speak to me with respect, in the future. I dropped the rope that night, 6 weeks ago and now he persues me.


The lessons I have learned are priceless. I am thankful that I sat on the evidence of his affair for as long as I did. It gave me time to make and work a plan. It gave me time to get angry and NOT pathetic.

I am not sure what I want in the future. I now make the decisions for my life, not him

Very proud of you, you have come a long way!

Congrats, your future is bright.

You inspire me. I can't wait until I am standing in your shoes.

Drop the rope...then, and only then, will you be in my shoes. I have zero idea if my marriage will survive his affair. Only I can make that call.

Almost to the minute that I emotionally drop the "rope" he came back.

For me dropping the "rope" was: giving up on the "what if..." statements. The BIGGEST one was "what if I have to move from my house of 18 years?" I finally arrived at an answer I could live with..big fvcking deal~ I get to move~

He must have sensed an immediate change. He, the house, the future no longer had a grip on me or control over me.

Thanks for your advice. How do I drop the rope?

Dropping the rope is willing to spend the rest of your life without that person and living it.

Thank you for the clarification