Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis MLCer on Fast Track to Divorce

Don't feel bad about this. I've made my share of mistakes too. I'm sure a lot of us have.

Hopefully, some of the vets will be by soon to give you some help.

Tad

I am glad you are seeing an attorney.
Sometimes these cheapo divorces are not even legal.
I don't know what your state laws are but most states divide assets and liabilities 50/50 so make sure that nothing is getting overlooked. Just because he is in a hurry.
If you do not want a divorce then take your time with everything.
See if the lawyer has any advice about that too.

My attorney said that a lot of divorces don't go through because people do the $500 thing only to find out there's not enough info in them to get the deal done. That's why she said she'd read everything over to make sure everything is covered. I'm an accountant and know about everything we have asset-wise so there's no getting anything by me.

I don't want the divorce but it would be nice to have him pay off his half of our joint debt so I can pay off my half and be done with it. I will talk to her about delays.

So H is still getting mail at our old house. I keep giving him one of his credit card bills and Friday he got an e-bay purchase here. This is the 4th e-bay item to come to me. The first was a watch he bought OW for her birthday. You'd think he'd change his paypal/e-bay address...

I sent him a text Friday to tell him he has mail here and that I was home if he wanted to stop by. He replied that he was going out of town and would get it today. I really didn't want to know he was going out of town. It turns out he spent the weekend with OW who lives 30 miles away. What really gets me is that he left SS 18 who is a senior in high school alone for the weekend. He has a girlfriend and most likely they shacked up at H's house for the weekend. Something he never would have done or allowed before mlc. It's like he's totally checked out as a parent too. Not surprising for mlc but so difficult for me to understand. Like if he has no morales or values how can he instill them in SS?

I feel so bad that SS's senior year is on the back burner to H's mlc and the OW.

Your H is a teenager right now. Believe me, I've seen the same thing with my W.



I know exactly how you feel. My S18 is a senior this year as well. He isn't even getting a yearbook. W used to take care of all of that stuff. This year it "slipped her mind" because well....she wasn't her mentally even before she moved out. She checked out emotionally months before she left. I read somewhere once that this is so much easier on the person in MLC because they checked out a long time ago. We are just now dealing with it.

Tad

Today's a bad day...not sure why.

It's just so hard to understand how one day they can be saying how wonderful and special you are and then two weeks later you're still wonderful except these things are wrong with you and now they feel no spark and want this other person...but they're not sure...but they want you to leave...and then they want a divorce and nothing to do with you except for it to all be over so they can get on with their lives...

Sniffling at work today.

Ugh!!! Detach...I know...

Shel, I'm sorry you are having a rough day today. They will come and go. (I'm sure you already know this.)





He seems very confused if you ask me. I think it was Jack or Cadet that said: MLC = Confusion or Confusion = MLC.

Keep your head up.

I know it is hard.

As everyone has told me: it has nothing to do with you. It's all about him.

Tad

So tonight on his way home he sent me a text asking for directions from where he was using back roads because traffic was so bad...I replied and he called me. I gave him a route and he complained about traffic.

Now I just got a text from him asking for more stuff for the L. I leave for 10 days for work tomorrow am and won't have time to pull anything before I go. I guess it'll just have to wait.

I pray for God to show me the right thing to do...the right path to take and for the strength to get through this with dignity and grace. So far I'm doing pretty well. Most people don't know what I'm going through. I'm reading the Journey from Abandonment to Healing. It's helped some but I got 1/3 of the way through and haven't gotten back to it. I'm really having trouble accepting this. Everyone says he seems so unhappy so why does he push on with the D? I know...this is his journey and I don't want him back broken...and I think he's too weak to end it with OW. That breaks my heart...

Whew...hopefully some CA sunshine will do me some good. I have work friends there and my brother's there too so I won't be totally alone.

I so appreciate all the advice given on these boards. It's really helped me to know I'm not alone and try to follow all the advice given.

Thanks everyone!

Shel

Hi Shel. Sorry today is rough.



It IS very hard to accept. I've read on this board that sometimes they actually have to go through with things. Then again, he hasn't filed YET. I wouldn't give up until you are ready. Divorce or no divorce.

Maybe going to California is a good thing. It'll give you a chance to stall for a while. Stall stall stall. That's what I'm doing. My W takes more stuff out of the garage everytime she is here. Still says she wants a divorce, but I'm not giving up.

If you want your M, I wouldn't lose hope just yet. Keep praying okay?

I hope you have a good time in California and get to spend some quality time with your brother.

Tad

It may not feel it FG, but you appear to be doing well DBing.

Don't forget. GAL... :-) As you're getting out and smelling the roses, remember that GOD is working on and setting His plan in action for you. You will know what to do when He lets you know.

Cheers and enjoy CA!