Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Cautiously optimistic

Excellent.

Can I recommend getting confident? Not in your R, but in yourself. That will be a sign in yourself that you are getting to where you need to be.

Please keep posting. I'm not "watching" your thread, as I'm hoping to follow along in your footsteps soon.

Go make it a great day!

Yes, confidence in myself is something I desperately need to find.
I know that having a low self esteem for most of my adult life, it's going to take a while to get there.

I'm trying.

Tonight after work I am meeting a friend for dinner and then might do some shopping after.
Tomorrow is supposed to be a beautiful day, so I am hoping to be outdoors on a long walk.
Spring is finally here.....(I hope)

Isn't it perfect timing!?!?!

This ordeal started for me right in the middle of winter. So much of my GAL stuff I want to do is outdoors, so it was tough. But now???? SPRING!!!!! CHANGE!!!!

Enjoy it gurl! Get out, have fun. You will fine your confidence. Look at yourself. In the midst of an extremely tough situation, what are you doing? You're making positive changes. You're fighting. You're thinking and giving. No reason not to have all of the confidence in the world.

Hang in there gurl, enjoy your weekend!

Thanks Country....I hope you enjoy your weekend also.

Tonight was a good night. I met a friend for dinner after work and had a good time chatting.
Afterwards I ran to Target to buy a new vacuum cleaner. Oh the joys of being an adult!
Came home and have been relaxing ever since.
I got my copy of DR in the mail today. When I first read it I had checked it out from the library and realized it was a book I was going to need to read over and over again.

When I start to feel down about my sitch, I think back to how I was when he first left 2 months ago.
I was a wreck...I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, it took all my energy to go to work every day.
I looked and felt like hell.

Now I get up, although some mornings are hard, I still get up and I still live my life.
I take time and effort into my appearance, and try to do things that I enjoy.

The biggest change I've noticed is the loss of anger. I used to be p!ssed off all the time and would walk around with this darkness in my heart.
Now that I am no longer angry, I feel so much better both emotionally and physically.

Wow...didn't mean to carry on like that....have a good weekend everyone.

Journaling------

Last night H texted me when he got off of work and we chatted a bit.
He told me he thought I was beautiful and he loved laughing with me yesterday.
I love hearing this stuff, but I'm scared. I am afraid it will all come crashing down on me somehow. I know, it's negative thinking and I need to stop it. It's hard.

How is the rubber band working?

When he says that stuff, think of it as a friend telling you their thoughts and opinions.

It is nice to hear, but holds no more importance or meaning than anyone else telling you this stuff.

Acknowledge your fears, understand them, and then let them go...

They will only bring you the result that you fear if you keep hanging onto them...

Read about acting AS IF. It is an excellent tool...

These are necessary first steps. I would add that you can be confident in your ability to change yourself and that should be the main focus. No one knows the future, but we can change our attitude towards it.

I'd suggest focus on that confidence.

Can I just tell you guys that this BB has been my lifeline?
Nobody understands like you guys do and I appreciate every piece of advice I have been given and I am taking it all to heart.

Cat-the rubber band is working pretty good. I won't lie, I wish I had a more fashionable looking one but this one will do.
I keep it on 24/7, and sometimes just looking at it and what it symbolizes helps also.

Roll with it DG. Here's my take, FWIW. Let him tell you this stuff - it is good for him to say it. The more he does, the more he believes it.

However, keep in mind you control how you feel and nothing he says can affect you unless you let it. It will help you control your fear. Stay open to the positive reinforcement. You're worth it.

In other words, keep your cool and stay in the right frame of mind.