I can't wait 2 years for what may be no chance at all ya know... If I knew for sure... YES!!! But I think based in what I've seen, all the damage caused, knowing her before all this... I just don't see ANY light at the end of this tunnel. I'm not sure what moving on would be, starting over with someone new I guess. A life where I am more able to be myself and less molded into something someone else wants me to be... Freedom... Happiness... Love... Companionship... Trust... IDK. I guess I'll just have to live my life and see where I go (hopefully able to guide it on a desireable path). Another shot at M would be great, she has TOO MUCH changing to do... She has not changed a bit. I'M AFRAID I will be back here one day... I just feel it!!!
Yes, My fear is no matter what I do, I will back here with this W in this M. Reason I say that is I did nothing horrible during our marriage, just normal mistakes... And that got me here? I can't and don't want to spend my life changng for someone who themselves refuses to change. And when I see someone giving 2 years, 10 years of effort to come up empty handed... It saddens me greatly... That is SUFFERING! Life is too short for that. With each passing day, another strand on this rope that ties me to her frays and breaks off. Idk. Sandi I read that yours ended in divorce... Is that correct? You were a WAW, so tell me do I bother? Am I wasting my time? Can I be myself ever again? In life people change... A strong marriage results from spouses who understand and accept those changes (provided they are not hazardous)... I don't have that type of spouse. My W has the mentality that things get broken, just throw it away and get a new one because it's just easier. My biggest struggle... I just can't believe how she treated me and CONTINUES to... I keep that to myself, but it's nearly snuffed my feelings for her.
Sandi I read that yours ended in divorce... Is that correct?
Oh my gosh! Where did you see that? No, I am happy to report that I did not leave the M and we are still together. I consider us a success story.
I did have an Internet EA and I was every bit a WAW except it did not come to me actually leaving. I wanted to, and I was trying to figure how I could support myself if I left.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sorry... I read alot of your stuff, so I probably read something related to that in which you may have just posted. Well that's great! I'm glad for both if you that things worked out. You had a willingness to try... My W does not... Had at times but now that she left, has own apt, own things, new life, no contact with me, no parental commitment really, free as a bird... I'd stand a better chance at winning the lotto. I think it's rare that my case would end well. It's been a month... Barely a word... Barely eye contact... I've had no slips... But not impressed with progress.
Well blessed, you sound a little like you are on both sides of the fence depending on what your wife does. JMO. But i can tell you i was a success story 3 years ago as well. After we had a child, i started slipping back into my old sarcastic ways again, not reading the bible, and some other stressors, and thats why i am here again. I keep going back and forth, but its the same story except in have a 22 month old son now. I have an appt to see a lawyer monday, i have no intention on filing for the D, just need to get some king of SA in place to protect me financially.
I think where sandi was going was you need to have a solid goal, and it sounds like you have two, i may be wrong though as i have been before....
M - 42 W - 41 Married 9 years July 24, 2010 WAW moved out 8-9-10 2nd Marriage for Both S 2 SS 13 from W first Marriage
I think where sandi was going was you need to have a solid goal, and it sounds like you have two
I'm trying to be a good girl and change my writing techniques....but I keep falling back into the old Sandi's tone... Ugh! I suppose any kind of changing in ourselves gets harder as we get older.
Ruikee, thanks for joining in b/c blessed can use what you've learned. Sorry you are back, but I'm glad you come here.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
So someone my W knows, emailed me saying how she thought it was outa line that my W would post photos of herself on FB with another man when she is still married. She said she thought it was mean. It just keeps getting better.
Ugh! I suppose any kind of changing in ourselves gets harder as we get older.