Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis should I stay put?

Thank you Cadet. I have read DB and DR. I've been using a DB coach since November (talked about 5 times). She has been a great help, but MLC has never been brought up. I really do think it fits though. Our MC (H got her through a work program) follows DB too. I was happy when I found that out. MC counselling is on hold right now, because MC thinks H should do some IC. We'll see if he does, I don't want to have any hopes on that.
I will follow your recommendations! I have been working on GAL. I went back to school. Only 1 course, but its a start after being a stay at home mom for 10 years. We're currently living in a city almost 2 hours away from family/close friends (for his job). I've been making more trips home, seeing/talking to friends more. I was invited to a Valentine's gala and took my sister as my date. That surprised him (she was more fun anyway).
I've always cared about keeping up with fashion/my appearance but make sure I'm always put together these days, even when I don't feel like it. I'm looking into taking Yoga classes in a couple of weeks. When I'm feeling sad, I take the kids out and do something fun. They are great for lifting my sprits. I actually find that these past months have made me more patient with them. I've always enjoyed them, but even more so now (which also made me mad when H even detached from them. He's better now, but he's still let them leave their house!)
I'm staying upbeat in around him (a few backslides) but I do find that while it took a lot of effort in the beginning, its easy now. I really don't like "that" feeling and try to distract myself when I feel like that. This board also helps when I feel sad/angry/done.
Thanks for everyone making me feel welcome. Hopefully I will have something to offer too.

Thanks for all of the resources. I think the reality of the damage his childhood has caused is really starting to sink in. I feel that he is wanting me to pay the price of the indiscretions of his mother. I feel he actually can't separate the two of us sometimes. I don't think there is much I can do to help him other than going dark for awhile and trying not to cause problems. I will just try to absorb as much as I can and try to find peace. I just love him so and want to help him. I am afraid of what will happen to him if I am not in his life.