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Not really bothering me too bad, but yesterday was the first time in over 15 years that we have had zero contact in a day. I know this is exactly what needs to happen.

I did do some great cleaning yesterday. Walked 3.1 miles. Looking forward to doing some more cleaning when I get home and do another 3.1 miles again. It's gonna be SWEET when I lose all this weight and look hot again!

Ughh...I shouldn't let this bother me but it is...My W just sent the lawyer an email and CC'ed me stating that she wanted to go back to her maiden name. I deleted the email so I won't have to look at it again.

Brian:

Just getting caught up from the w/e. Go back and re-read the thread of what your best friend told you. He was dead on. We can tell our WAS's until we are purple, blue and pink that we have changed. Words, Words, Words. How many times have we made these empty promises and reverted back to our old ways? If the roles were reversed what would your view on this be? Think about it. I tell people all the time, that if I were my STXH, I wouldn't trust what I said either. I've pleaded it, begged it and wrote it in a letter. Trust has to be earned back in time and so does friendship.

And so what if she decides to go back to her maiden name. It's a minor formality. Another attempt at control and trying to re-write history. Don't let these define who you are and who you've become. It will just prove to our WAS's that they were right about us.

I keep thowing what TrueGritter said to someone else in another thread because I think it's worded so well and you could present this in a letter or if you speak in person.

"Dear W, I've told you before that I still love you and still think that we can have a great life together as both a couple and a family. I've not changed my mind on that. But I understand you are not happy, that you do not feel happy or complete inside.

You need to do what will make you happy. By my side, we live as partners, we share everything and we would do anything to help one another. But that's only if we continue as a team.

I won't stand in your way. But I also will not help you leave this marriage or this family. And I will never accept another person being a part of our life together.

I hope you find the happiness you are looking for. Go do what you need to do. You know where I will be."


If you read these words as perhaps part of a daily mantra, it keeps the progress in perspective; JMHO. I know when I am in court next Tues this is some of the dialogue I will say to my STXH IF he initiates a conversation with me after the D is final.

Hang in there.

Thanks Zen...I know most women go back to their maiden name but I just wish she would have sent the to just the lawyer and not me. She actually didn't reply to all in the email, she took off the email that was listed and sent it to my work. Like she wanted me to see.

But I am ok now. I am getting stronger everyday.

Just got the revised Divorce papers...MUCH easier time reading it then on Friday.

So how does that feel?
Knowing you are getting stronger everyday.

Inquiring minds want to know!

How does it REALLY FEEL when you are at your very best!!!
And what are your ways of getting there in a heartbeat!
How can you take those awesome feelings right this very moment and crank them up to "11"!!!

It feels like a weight is slowly lifting off of me. It's easier to deal with memories or events. I know I am the only think I control and that is what my focus is.

Honestly, I don't know how it feels to be at my very best. I don't know that I have been there in a decade. But I make myself happy now by thinking about the person I am becoming and how much happier I am going to be.

STay the course Brian. If you are losing the weight and feeling better about yourself , you will win in the end regardless.

And I guarantee you that she will notice. Did I read that you are the 4th husband and have been married for 13 years and your w is only 38? She has been a busy girl, not to be judgemental.

But I am happy that you seem to be getting along better in a relatively short period of time.

9

I am her fourth husband but she is 44. I don't think there was much time inbetween divorcing and getting re-married. I can only hope for time this go round.