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been having a good weekend. Hung out with friends last night. Ice fished all day. Came home to a nice home cooked meal. Will probably stay in tonight and enjoy my daughter. Been staying dark. Posted some pics of us having fun on the ice on fb. She hasn't tried to contact me at all, no idea what she is up to this weekend

Sounds like a great weekend. I've never been ice fishing, sounds fun. Don't worry about what she's doing. She's probably bored and crying.

Sounds like a great weekend, IW. I like your style. Please make sure to take care of yourself and daughter first. Please try to enjoy the remainder of the weekend. Keep us posted!

BITS never walk alone!

FOBD

Not too much new to report. No contact with my W since she called on friday. I did post some pics of my D2 ice fishing on fb, but that was it. Had a good weekend. On Friday we got an invite to a mutual friends wedding. It was addressed to both of us. I looked ahead and saw that I have my D2 that weekend. I met the couple through my W, so I put the invite in her mail pile. She still hasn't gotten her mail forwarded and hasn't picked it up lately. I gave her it last week when I got the haircut, but now she has quite a bit more. I'm not contacting her about it anymore. She knows she still gets mail here and she can be a big girl and come get it herself. Most of it is junk mail except one thing that I think is a bill. Oh well, I'm not gonna be her mailman. Doing some painting in my basement tonite. Should keep me busy

My W called me after work. I was at the store and I thought I'm gonna try something different. I ignored the call and told myself I was gonna wait a while before calling back. After an hour I called her back. She wanted to know if she had much mail at the house. I said she did and kinda rattled off what it all was. She said she would stop by one of these nights and pick it up. She had just picked up our D2 from daycare. She started going on and on about how much she missed her this weekend. How she feels like she is missing so much of our D2 life. I wanted to say how she chooses to miss her and that she could end this at any time, but I just validated her feelings and told her I feel the same. I don't feel that the A is beginning to fizzle, but I also don't feel that she is ready to make this permanent. I am excited for spring and summer. I think it will give me many more chances to GAL. Gotta keep my mind focused on my goals.

Haven't posted in a while. I'll give ya'll a little update. I have been thinking about taking my D2 to Cali this summer to visit a friend of mine from the AF and his family. I had contacted them about it but hadn't set anything in stone. On wed my W texts me that my friends W wrote her on fb to see if she was coming too. My W adds "when were you gonna tell me about this?" I told her nothing was set in stone yet and that it was just something I was considering. She texts me that she wants to take our D2 on a trip too. I know she doesn't have money for this. I think she just said this bc she doesn't want to be upstaged by me. She asked a few questions about our trip. Now this is were the big mistakes started. Since my friend's W asked her about coming, I decided to ask if she wanted to come along. She texted no that she wasn't interested. I was having a bad day at work and just decided to let out everything. I texted her that she complains to me how much she misses our D2, but when I offer her a way to spend more time with her, she always says no. She writes that she doesn't want to go to Cali with me! Then she calls me. We get into a huge arguement about our D2. I told her how she complains that she misses her but does nothing about it. That she needs to be honest with herself. That she chooses to live with her mom. That chooses to not see her D2 everyday. She points to the fact that she does miss her D2, but just doesn't want to be with me. I fire back telling her that I could careless when the house sells. That I don't want to have to go back to renting. That I had it made, living in this big house and that I could do whatever I wanted to it. She hangs up. I call her and remind her that she always hated if I would hang up on her. We talk for a couple more minutes. I can tell she is really upset. Then we say goodbye.

All night I thought about the horrible conversation. I decided to call her in the morning and apologize her phone went staight to VM. I just left a little message saying I was sorry for how I reacted and that I knew we were both making hard decisions.

Alright here's the second part.
She calls me after work. We begin to discuss the conversation. She told me how much it hurt her for me to say those things to her. She said that after we talked she went out to her car and cried. She called our daycare lady crying and asked to talk to our D2. She began to cry just telling me this. Told me how she cries at night not being with our D2. I did apologize for what I said. She is letting her guard down and telling me that this is really killing her. She tells me about all of the stressful things that are going on with her family. Some crazy stuff. We talked and talked for about and hour. I think she did feel good venting and talking to me like we used to. I know I enjoyed just talking to her like we used to. At the end of the convo things were pretty good between us. I told her I was taking our D2 to the pool and that she was welcome to join us. She said that she would pass this time but would consider joining us in the future. I told her I needed a babysitter next friday night bc I am volunteering at the american legion. She quickly accepted.

She texted me today that she was gonna stop by after work to pick up her mail. I was home when she arrived. We had some light convo. She seemed a little edgy with me. I think she gets this way coming to the house bc it pisses her off that all her things are here with me and she is living with her mom. She thinks I am just loving having this house to myself. She told me that she is going to put the house on craigslist. She is still edgy and brings it up that I shouldn't throw it at her that I don't want the house to sell. That she could just stop paying her half of the mortgage and it would go to foreclosure. I know she wouldn't do this bc she is very fiscally responsible and wouldn't want to crush her credit like that. I just agreed and let her vent.

We went outside, so she could take a couple of pics of the house. Before she left I told her a funny story about our D2. I had her really laughing. She finally put her claws away. As she got into her car, she wished me a good weekend, I just nodded back. She has our D2 this weekend and I will stay dark.

my plan was not to contact my W all weekend. Yesterday I was headed to a sports show with my FIL and BIL, we go every year, when my wife called me. She just wanted to know if it was ok to stop by the house and pick up some things. I said no problem. I'm sure she wanted to do it then bc I wouldn't be home. I trust her and know she won't take anything that wasn't hers. That night she texted me that she would like to come by this week and pick up some more stuff. I said that's fine. She also asked how the sports show was. I just said good.

Today I have remained dark. No fb, no texting, or contact of any kind. At times it has been tough, I want know how our D2 is, I miss her terribly. At about 7, my W emailed me a link to craigslist. She put our house on there today. I didn't respond. She texted me to see if I got the link. I said I did and that it looked good. A couple of minutes later she called me and put our D2 on the phone. It was so great to hear her voice. My W came back on the phone. We had a good talk, she asked how my weekend was. I told her it was good but didn't tell her many details. She told me that her and our D2 wanted to read a story to me. It was really cute. Afterwards I wished them a good night and we said goodbye. I feel good, I controlled the tempo of the convo and was upbeat.

Good rebound after the tough conversation IW. You realized the mistake, and you corrected it. That is a big positive. Keep up the positives and continue to reduce the negatives. That's all any of us can do.

Iw,
I agree. Good rebound. Man, try not to do that again, if possible. I know that it is maddening when they leave and then complain about it. I have struggled with that ever since my w left. One night, while she was complaining about the aspects of her new life that she didn't like, she began crying. I snapped at her and told her to "never f*cking cry in front of me again about that sh*t." That was also before I learned how to DB. I know, you want to shove it down their throat when they complain, but it is a good thing when they complain. It is a small window into their world and they are letting you look through it. I am not saying you have to be a lap dog. But, if they want to vent, let them. You can find some insight in there if you try hard enough. Not to mention, over time, you will become a trusted confidant again.

Keep up the good work, buddy!

FOBD