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BTW, Country , there were no NERDS this night, I was so cool over here.

Not one hint of relationship talk. She even mentioned to me that it was soooo nice to see our oldest son laughing for a change.

Did she see a family that is worth saving tonight? Who knows, only she can answer that.

Her sister invited me to dinner with all of them tonight. I dont know when to start pulling back from all this.

Its got to be soon but again, she is mourning the loss of her mother which puts this in a precarious situation.

True gritter and Sandi. I was goingt start my previous post saying that I slipped again and that I started relationship talk and yada yada, as my natural tendencies are for practical jokes but I couldnt do it.

Is it possible that in my 47th year I am growing up.

Nahhh,

I would like to start pulling away but then she gets support from OM only right.

My anxiety wasnt too bad last night.

It must have been wierd for her to be in the house she designed and know that it is no longer hers.

She asked me if it was OK that she was there despite the invite.
She had this look of concern on her face that affected me though, like I feel really sorry for her.

Hard to watch someone you love in pain, but I have to keep reminding myself she caused much of this.

I KNOW i will be strong, I feel it. I wont slip to R talk again anytime soon and only if she totally initiates it.

Im talking months down the road if ever.

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BITS

Forgot about my sons hockey practice this morning. Just too much on my plate right now.

Soooo sick of hockey anyway at the moment.

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Dont think I will go to the dinner tonight. Her brother is coming from Up North and i think its best they be alone.

Maybe its time to slowly detach from the sitch but like i said, then numbnuts is the only one comforting her.

Is that good in your opinion?

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It might not be good, but it is your unfortunate reality right now. Maybe she will start to see this guy for what he is. After everything she has done, you would think she would want to be comforted by him (if she really knew what she wanted----she doesn't)

Hey gang:

I know that weekends are slow but I hope somebody is out there that can reason this through with me.

I mentioned that i decided not to go to her sisters for dinner which is like four houses away from me btw.

This is getting so hard for me. Well my SIL called and wondered where we were , me and s15 and then I said I will send him over.

Wife gets on the phone and wonders why im not coming over. I say im not feeling it righ now. And she says what does that mean.

I dont want say the obvious so I just say, you know what i mean and she says " i understand but I really would like you here"

" My brother will be here soon and you should see him"

Why should I see him? Why continue this charade Like we are a family still. Or is it something that I should do?

I am very confused with her behaviour. why does she feel the need to have me around? I really dont get it?

Help

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I can't help you 9. I don't k kw if you should go or not. My intuition tells me no, but I also know that I would want to go.

Think of it like this...if you don't go, do you really think that it will make things worse...I don't. It may make it uncomfortable for her with her family that you are not there. IDK!!!

Bu this is the life that she is asking you for, she should have to start living it, you are in a bad way!

Starsky, I will go dark, trust me I will. Its just this last week while she copes with the loss of her mom that I feel I need to be the bigger person and show her that I can put my differences aside for the greater good.

I think that if I went dark right now it would be perceived that I am a prck and only think of myself.

So I just got back from dinner with my boys, her and her family,

It was uneventful. My Bil who has been giving her the cold shoulder for a long time has also put his differences aside for now.

She hugged him and he asked her what she is doing by doing all this nonsence and she says she doesnt know and then he asked her why is she continuing it and again, she could not answer him.

Her entire family thinks she is mentally unbalanced.

She was nice to me for a while but then sort of got a little cold and said goodbye to everyone and then said goodby, (my name)
in a half hearted tone.

She seems like she is in a deep depression tonight.

Dont know what to make of it and really dont want to analyze it.

Please dont think that I am not taking your advice TG, Sandi and Starsky, i am, but I have to finish off this mourning until I can get back to doing what is right.

I will go dark, there is no doubt in my mind that i will be able to do it.

the question is, will she be able to not persue while I am at this dark period because I think she has really taken notice of some of my changes.

Like I have cut my hair, I am very concerned about my appearance, always clean shaven and freshly showered when I see her and also always make a point of helping with the dishes at every function.

Her brother has already mentioned that it was I who convinced him to come down and nobody else was able to do that and he thanked me for convincing him.

She has to be noticing all this and wondering what the hell she is doing.

IDK, at the end of the day and when all this BS is all over, I want to be able to hold my head high and say I tried the best of my ability to hold this family together and I will be a better person in the end whild she struggles on with her life.

Time will tell.

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Quick Update:

So she texts me this morning. Must have had a night with OM since sons are both with me last night.

Message from her. Hope you have a good week, I need the boys to talk to a lot this week. Thanks for being there for me last week. ( In other words, I wont be needing your services anymore)

I text back, simply - Understood


She writes back, so thats how its going to be again.
Oh well, my mom would have been happy for a week.
( meaning that we were all getting along )

I did not respond.

I suppose now is the time to go dark again and really not respond to anything from her.

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I do think I handled the situation Ok. Being dark when her mom died I think would have been the wrong thing. Take out the R talks and I do believe that things went relatively smooth.

She must think that she is in love with OM at this point and maybe he is saying all the right things to further endear himself to her.

From what I hear, he has always laid it on thick.

From now on you can call me the dark night. Darky McDark amongst other dark names.

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Dark Vader

Darky Dark

Linkin Dark

South Dark