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Hey Brian. I wish that there were something that I could say to make you feel better right now. I understand the pain that you are going through. It does get better with time man. Hang in there.

Also... I'd suggest that you follow other newcomer threads and post on them every now and then. That is how I developed friendships on this board. It will also be very good for you to see just how many people are experiencing the same pain as you.

BITS
Denver

Brian - lifting you up in prayer....

Thanks Denver..I do follow a lot of threads...I just don't feel I know enough to be able to contribute. But you are right. I do at least need to encourage more and engage people.

Yeah... that's what I'm saying Brian. If you show interest and concern on other threads, it is more likely that those same people will do the same for you. That's how 2Step, FOBD, grr, LIS and the other BITS got so close to one another.

It is also how you learn the stuff that you don't feel you currently know enough about!!

BITS
Denver

Hang in there Brian. I know how you feel. I was there just yesterday. Today is a better day, not great just better.

Strangely after talking to my L yesterday I realized I had taken the first step in directing this rollercoaster. Instead of reacting and responding to W's demands I was able to set a condition of my own protecting me.

All our WAS's will realize one day that the grass is NOT greener that is when the reconnection can begin with us, the LBS's

Hang tough Brian. We're here for you.

I just ruined my good feeling for today. I text my W that I need her tax forms because I made an appt to get them done. She text me back asking how last night was and about the dogs. I told her things were great and that I hoped she had a good day. She responded It's a sad time for both because of a time in our lives is ending. I do hope you are happy in life and one day we will be able to be friends. I don't know why that is killing me right now but it is. I am not going to respond to it. I HATE crying at work.

Brian, I got something similiar we all have.
Do you notice something though?



I know it's not obvious. Did you realise you get to choose whether or not this will be so? You. Choose.

I know...I just can't help but think that we are best friends. At least so I thought. I can't even put my thoughts into words right now.

I get you. I thought I was my H.'s very best friend and sexually exclusive friend and he was mine too. That's part of why we married.
That's over from THEIR perspective. That's hard to come to terms with.
Thing is though if you look at their behaviour, they weren't very good friends to us either. Betrayal, lies, uncommunicativeness etcetera.
We're holding on to what was, not realising what is now.
We have the ability to change that. We have the power to redefine ourselves and a future relationship with them.
Focus now on being the best friend you can be to yourself. Once you do that, you can start a new friendship with your S. with a huge advantage...a history, a memory that love once did flourish and sustain you both, and a knowledge that it can be even better.