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Originally Posted By: Truegritter
Originally Posted By: Busting
The good news is she has said she will do counseling on monday.


No she said she would do it if you feel it will help her...

Big difference.

See what happens if you are not leading her by the ring in her nose.



Thanks Islander.

True. You`ve gone cryptic on me again. I`m just a simple man! Please help me understand what is the ``big difference`` and how would I see what happens if I am not leading her

are you saying dont do the counseling???


I am being the possibility of:

1) Integrity
2) Loving myself completely.
3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.

"It's do-able." What are the actions now?
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ah. you're thinking along the lines that if she doesnt initiate the counseling it really has no value?


I am being the possibility of:

1) Integrity
2) Loving myself completely.
3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.

"It's do-able." What are the actions now?
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Originally Posted By: Busting
ah. you're thinking along the lines that if she doesnt initiate the counseling it really has no value?


That is what I am thinking...


My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
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Forgive me but I just gotta ask...

You think maybe I should sign the divorce papers???


I am being the possibility of:

1) Integrity
2) Loving myself completely.
3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.

"It's do-able." What are the actions now?
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I wouldn't unless that is what you want. If you are gambling, you are going all in and don't have a hand to play.


BITS

M:34 W:28
SD:9
D:6 (pr)
M:3 T:6
Separated 1/16/11
ILYBNILWY 10/25/10
PA discovered 11/12/10, began about 10/1/10

I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new...
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I know what gritter is saying, and he is right that pushing and pulling is not the way to get them into C. BUT, at this point I would go ahead and do it. She is willing, see what happens. But don't expect miracles.


BITS

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
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Yeah my only plan right now is to make sure I get her to the table with the coach on Monday. I've already messed that opportunity up twice.

Given that as my objective, how do you think I should respond to her last message???

I really have no idea!


I am being the possibility of:

1) Integrity
2) Loving myself completely.
3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.

"It's do-able." What are the actions now?
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Originally Posted By: Busting Mode
...here is the email that my WAW sent me:

--------

So what are you thinking lately ?? Gonna sign the papers or drag things out??

I know you`re hopeful and all but you did say you would grant me my wish and we would remain friends!

Also you said I could have the motorcycle but then one day you said you couldn't come get your bike??

The weather is getting better and I would like to take lessons and save on gas to ride it to work but need the key and title or are you gonna not keep your word with that also??

I know we had some good times together and tough times but I want to only remember the good times and remain friends wanting us both to be happy!! I will always love you and always remain your friend unless you do things to change that!

If you think the counseling will help me I'll do it but it would have to be next Monday around 445 on my way to work!

-------------------



Who IS this woman??? I do not recognize her AT ALL!!! Right now I'm not so sure I even like her!!!

My goodness Love is crazy sometimes!!!


I am being the possibility of:

1) Integrity
2) Loving myself completely.
3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.

"It's do-able." What are the actions now?
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Developing my response...



Beckie,

I know you have been saying that you want me to sign the papers.

Right now I am still your husband and what I am committed to is being the best husband I can be.

The challenge is, I have mixed feelings about what that really means.

Part of me says being the best husband means letting go and giving you everything you ask even if it hurts me.

Part of me says being the best husband means being firm and strong and always standing by your side in times of trouble and uncertainty.

I also feel there has been too much insecurity in our relationship and too many broken promises from both sides.

Just as you you have often felt before, right now my heart is being pulled in two directions and one way or another I really need some certainty.

In my session yesterday I had the most amazing breakthrough.

I discovered how something that happened to me as a child had been negatively impacting the relationship of every woman that I have ever been with.

And now it is simply gone. The counselor helped me see it in a completely different way, and now I am finally free to relax and be myself.

I have found so much value in these sessions that this morning I purchased 7 more. You are welcome to use as many or as few of those sessions as you need with or without me on the call. But I highly recommend you give yourself the gift of at least doing one or two on your own.

I have set up a call for you on monday march 21st The counsellor's name is <name> and at <time> you can call her directly at <number>.

To me this feels like a good decision and the best course of action to help each of us find our way.

It feels like we are now being more thoughtful and respectful towards each other, and it is showing our willingness to work together.

Regardless of what happens to us in the future, I am certain that having a professional, competent adviser helping us right now will make it easier for us to truly understand each other and remain the best of friends.


-----------------------

What do you think? Do you guys see anything I should change or add?


I am being the possibility of:

1) Integrity
2) Loving myself completely.
3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.

"It's do-able." What are the actions now?
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I think that you should only inform her a out the counseling session at this point. And I agree with you that it is more important at this point to get her to agree to C, rather than just sit back and wait for her to do it herself. She offered to go, so let her.

Knowing me, I would probably send tue whole letter, but I also know that is not the right thing to do.


BITS

M:34 W:28
SD:9
D:6 (pr)
M:3 T:6
Separated 1/16/11
ILYBNILWY 10/25/10
PA discovered 11/12/10, began about 10/1/10

I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new...
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