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Here's the response I am considering (gosh this is strangely exciting asking for so much help before acting so impulsively, reacting and taking unchecked action.

How liberating! How empowering! How SCRUMPTIOUS!

Here's what I am thinking:

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Sorry, my mistake.

I got your message saying you teach from 4:30 to 5:30, and I know that when you are working nights you are usually driving from 5 to 6, and so I got confused.

Not a problem. I'll just speak to the counselor again myself and then like I said I'll send you the details to reschedule on your own if you're still interested.

How is your day going?

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I love you guys! You are really helping me to improve!!!

I think your response to her message is appropriate and I would send it. But then again I have made my share of mistakes recently.

I would make the following changes, but of course this is just my VHO.

Sorry, My mistake.

I got your message saying you teach from 4:30 to 5:30, and I know that when you are working nights you are usually driving from 5 to 6, and so I got confused.

Not a problem. I'll just speak to the counselor again myself and then like I said I'll send you the details to reschedule on your own if you're still interested.

How is your day going?

I like the changes myself.

Thanks guys.

Country's version sent.

Update:

Sent my reply.
She called.
I was on the phone.

She emailed: "Why didn't you answer the phone?"
I emailed back: "On another call. Will call you back."
5 minutes later she called again.

After my call I called her back. Call went something like:

She: Hello
Me: Hey.

pause

Me: What's up?
She: Nothing. I just wanted to know why you rescheduled when I was working. (I had already told her very clearly in the email she has just been reading)

Then I briefly explained why again and said it was just a miscommunication.

There was another long pause when neither of us said anything, so then I ventured:

"Did you still want to have another session?"

Her: Not really.
Me: Ok

Another long pause.

Her: How do you feel about that?
Me: Fine.
Her: Fine?

Me: Yeah. I don't you to do anything you don't want to.
Her: <In a sing-songy kind of tone> yeah you do.
Me: <same tone> no I don't

Then she suddenly changed the subject and started talking about the kids. I listened, validated for awhile, listened and validated some more, then told her I had to tgo and take another call and we chat later sometime.

She said she had to go as well and that was it.

Not too bad, actually. I'm feeling better than I did this morning when I was thinking she was too pis*ed to even talk to me, but now we're at least being civil and speaking to each other again.

A perfect day for bananafish.



She sees this as YOUR agenda not hers.

She will drag her feet as long as she is being dragged against her will.

Let her loose.

See where her own momentum takes her.

Initially

It will be in the opposite direction to be sure...

Just got off the phone with my DB coach. The call gave me more perspective about where I am at and what I need to do. Specifically, I need to speak with my WAW honestly about how I`m feeling.

I will explore more about that in a little while, but right now I am feeling really upset, angry and frustrated. After I got off the coaching call, I came down to check my email and here is what my WAW had sent me:


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So what are you thinking lately ?? Gonna sign the papers or drag things out??

I know you`re hopeful and all but you did say you would grant me my wish and we would remain friends!

Also you said I could have the motorcycle but then one day you said you couldn't come get your bike??

The weather is getting better and I would like to take lessons and save on gas to ride it to work but need the key and title or are you gonna not keep your word with that also??

I know we had some good times together and tough times but I want to only remember the good times and remain friends wanting us both to be happy!! I will always love you and always remain your friend unless you do things to change that!

If you think the counseling will help me I'll do it but it would have to be next Monday around 445 on my way to work!

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I guess the first thing I need to do right now is mange my state again. Breathe and get to neutral.

I am SO pis*ed every time she says something about me not keeping my word or contradicting myself when she is the one breaking her promises for our marriage and her commitment to building our life together.

It is just feels beyond my comprehension that she could be so disconnected, so out of touch so godd*mn oblivious from doing the very same things she keeps accusing me of.

The good news is she has said she will do counseling on monday.


Man I am feeling so damn tired and worn out right now.

Any help, support, love, encouragement, 2x4s, anything at all right now would most surely be appreciated.

Thanks guys.

I`m so lucky I have you.

I think right now you should ignore everything your W said, except the part about going to counseling. I think it is a positive sign that she ended with that statement.

You are right about her being oblivious to everything she is asking of you, but doing worse herself. That must be the nature of the WAS.

No she said she would do it if you feel it will help her...

Big difference.

See what happens if you are not leading her by the ring in her nose.