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Hugs and warm thoughts and prayers for you Wii. Your dad sounds like an amazing man and he raised a wonderful son.

Hugs Wii,

Not much more to add.

We took comfort in finding up lots of photos of our family with Mom in them when the time came. We made up a board of great memories which others were able to enjoy viewing. Reliving many good times with our loved ones helped ease our grief.

I hope you can find some peace in your memories too. And if this was not your last visit - keep going and spend this precious time with him while you can.

Barb

(((((((wii))))))))

Thanks folks! Yes, Mish is he a wonderful man. Yesterday he slept through half my visit. I just sat there and held his hand. He woke up at one point, looked at me and said "Are you OK, son?" I said I was fine. While driving home the tears just poured out. Here's a man, in the worst days of his life who still wants to know if his son is OK. That's my Dad.

Wii, you are my hero too, just as your dad is. I don't know why, since I don't know you physically speaking, but somehow you have both touched my heart. Tears are running down my face as I type this .... maybe, because I know what you are going through (I lost my dad when I was 16), or just that I am so moved by your dad wanting to see if his son is okay. Perhaps both. You really do have an awesome father.

My thoughts and prayers are with you both and with your family at this difficult time.

Thanks Being Me, but my whole family are heroes! Everyone of us has stood by Dad all the way. Each of us visit him almost daily and apparently that is a rarity. Mom is there every single day. Today he is a little better but his voice is very hoarse, probably from puking so much yesterday. He's worried because there are two things Dad likes to do, eat and talk. He can't eat and if he loses talking then there isn't much left! I took some compassionate leave time today so that I could visit him in the afternoon and still get to my bible study/prayer meeting this evening.
I'm trying to talk myself out of some resentment here. I've been employed at my workplace for over twenty years and have worked with most of my co-workers for at least 15 years. Yet, no one asks me how my father is or how I'm doing. I think five weeks ago was the last time anyone asked. My boss brought to me the sheet I'd handed in asking for compassionate leave, asked me to correct a date and left. Not one word like "hey, how's your Dad doing these days?" It's so bizarre. I work for a Christian organization in the social services field and this is the support I'm getting. My brother works in retail and he says they're driving him nuts asking every day how Dad is. I know that death is a difficult subject and people don't want to mess you up by bringing it up...but hey, five weeks ago? My best friend at work has been away for five weeks and I remember thinking "great, no one to talk to now". Oh, I did mention to a co-worker yesterday that I was taking some compassionate leave time and he said "how come you didn't look into alternative treatments, if you did he might not be in this position" OMG, I'm not doing enough for my Dad. Better to say nothing, do my job and invite none of them to the funeral! I'm a little bitter and know part of it is my emotional state right now but part of it is...what? I get along with everybody, so it's really weird. Anyway, enough of my babbling. You guys are my outlet!

Wow, Wii,

Your co-workers SUCK! I'm not fond of "the big city" and the main reason is lack of personal care and compassion but that is ridiculous!

Take your compassionate leave - you will not regret it. I had to push my sister to do so when Mom was in her last days. She has thanked me several times for doing that.

Ignore the ignorance on the part of your co-workers - focus all your energy on your family.

Hugs,

Barb

Wii, I don't know what to say about your co-workers, especially being in the industry they are in. I'm thinking they are not very true Christians and as social workers, should know better.

And, it was not up to you what treatment your dad got .... you might've discussed, but ultimately he was the one to call the shots (and it sure sounded like he did), and your mom too. Sheesh! I dislike it when people say "maybe if you did this or that, things might've been better" ... you can't go back and restart ... it is what it is, so this must be how it should be as sad as it is. Alternative might have made things worse.

I am glad your dad was feeling a bit better today. And, I suspected your whole family were heroes, but I only know you and by extension, your dad.

You are constantly in my thoughts.

It takes a hero to know a hero Being Me (and that would be you)! I've learned in my Christian journey that usually you can't identify the Christians from the non-christians by their behaviour. Often non-Christians are the ones who seem to be most caring (a generalization) maybe because they don't have that old bail out "I'll pray for you", they actually have to do something! It's strange but today the boss did ask how my Dad was and we spent a whole 30 seconds on it...things are moving up! I think too people just get used to what is. Dad's been sick a long time and it just becomes a non-event. I carry on as I always have and there are no signs from one day to the next that anything is different. So be it. Today, I feel less whiney (is that a word?). Today is the day the Lord hath made, I shall rejoice and be glad in it!

It is all we have ... this day. I am still trying to learn that fact.

Talking about what is bothering you is not whining ... it is sharing your humanity, your thoughts, pain and joy alike. Only children whine ... hehehe!