Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers My Story - He Cheated while I was Pregnant

Lol, please stand by...we are clearing having technical difficulties. I'm turning totally manic since this is the 7 year anniversary of H proposing. I'll prob be better in a month, after anniv, inlaw visit, bdays for me/H, son's surgery, my mom's visit, return to work, etc.

Thank God there are no earthquakes, tsunamis, or nuclear meltdowns where I am. Thank God for health and home and family. Thank God for Spring and renewal.

Ugg ... this stuff is horrible ..... sorry AJ. But, I think you're doing well. It is going to be hard to GAL with the baby ... no doubt. Unfortunately, our WAS's decisions impact the kids. no way to avoid that. As such, being a stay at home mom and a single mom would be very tough. Maybe going back to work would be good for your mental health?

Stay strong. We're all in this together.

Take care of yourself, AJ. Sounds like you have a tough month coming up. Your head is probably in a million different places. Try to come by here every so often to piece it all together and journal. We are here for you.

In typical me fashion (maybe female coping mechanism....it's what my mom always did)n today I tore the house apart. Last night the kids didn't sleep well, but I woke up supercharged. Hung up photos, moved furniture, sorted toys....things got so crazy, I almost missed my appt with Chuck. Anyway, H was impressed with how much I got done and helped carry a bunch of stuff up to the attic for me. The house will look nice and settled for our various visitors in the next month.

Thanks guys - I have more clarity today. I have to admit talking to chuck is huge - I hate that these appts are so expensive and they don't take any insurance. I know it is cheaper than divorce or a mental break down . Still, hard to make myself sign up for another round just yet.

I'm not going to lower the bar or quit the race. I'm going to keep doing what's best for the kids and I. I'm going to keep standing and praying and filling my house with love and stability.

Sadly, I am a little embarrassed sometimes about DB'ing. Since he's been gone 5+ months, cheating d--n near a year, I'm getting some pushback and people think I should move on, move away, file, date, drink, etc. I know that you guys, like me, aren't thinking about the last or the next 6 months pain, you're thinking (well, as much as possible) about the next 50 yrs gained.

my plan, bring him to his knees, crack that facade he's put over the pain to pretend that everything is ok in his world...if we don't end up back together, I at least want him to know what he's lost and turn his life back around.

Night guys - lots of love your way.

ok, I tried to make the rounds and catch up on posts - I dont know if I'll be on much while the inlaws are here. DB coach said to push H for a convo about the fall when my lease is up and I am considering moving 4 states away with kids to be closer to family. H has so far avoided commenting on my request that we set a date/time to do that while his parents are here to care for kids. It's time for him to face reality and give me any insight into how he sees us parenting these kids together...otherwise I'll be making my own decisions and he can just deal. It's a limited time offer made out of courtesy to the kids, since he has been acting like a decent father lately.

I should prob tell them to not be around and make some boundaries....but it's my H not my inlaws I need to push away, right? No Relationship talk with visiting inlaws- all neutral or about the kids. We had a nice day with me getting a few hours alone, kids with gparents, etc. Made dinner together, H joined us after work...he knows this isn't all normal/happy family (well, we're happy family minus a dad/H). FIL knocked out all sorts of chores and got the car serviced - oil/tires rotated/washed, etc. MIL played with kids and helped me make dinner. For 3-4 days, I think this will be ok. D and S are loving the attention.

AJ, is H in counseling? Do you see any signs of improvement? You've been at this 8 months? I've only been at it 2 months and I'm about ready to throw in the towel. I do not like my H at the moment, and I feel it's less and less likely that I'll even want him back if he decides he wants to be back. He hasn't been calling the kids on the 4 days a week he doesn't see them and yesterday I asked why. He said he was going to call them every day from now on, but wanted us to agree that when he calls it's only to talk to the kids, not me. I find him disgusting right now and I'm actually glad he moved out because my stress level has gone WAY down since he left. Now if only I could figure out how to not have him in my home 3 days a week watching the kids while I work.....

AJ - Glad to hear the time with the in-laws is going well. D and S are loving the attention, and remember that their grandparents love them. You in-laws are not responsible for the choices your H has made. Let them spoil the kids a little.

I still have no had any contact with my in-laws in two months. I am pretty sure I have told you before, but I was/am very close to them. It kills me, but I do not push it because I know and understand that they are W's parents and not mine.

I think the only boundary you should make is the no R talk about your H. Keep the conversation light and about the kids.

You are doing awesome.

Quick note, will update/respond in a few days. I read this on Craigslist's best of page and it really made me laugh - so horribly true. I thought it was funny since my H has a mattress with now frame....but he's the "guilty" party in this, unlike the guy who wrote this crazy ad. Good night all! http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/1533779057.html