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WAW just messaged me on facebook.

Just a short "whatcha doin' how was your day" kind of thing.
A quick check in from her, and an even quicker check-out.

Ask me how my day was. Asked me what I did. Talked about the weather. and then she told me to have a good night, there was about a 30 second pause, and she was gone before I could respond

What I'm feeling is...moderately perturbed. With myself.

I'm perturbed because I don't like the feeling of being so analytical about every single word that either of us says.

Yet it seems difficult for me to do when are communications are so infrequent and when...

when...

I am so attached to the outcome (he says very slowly as the lights come on)

I am still worried about how she is thinking, feeling, interpreting things, I am still guessing, planning, plotting...

Hmmm.

Not sure how deep this rabbit hole still goes.

Debrief: What. So What. Now What.

What happened was my wife texted me to see what I was doing. We had a very brief conversation about nothing. And then she said goodnight.

So what that means is nothing more than she is still interested in hearing what I am doing.

Now what I am going to do with that information is...

Hmm. I might call her in the morning on her way home from work. SHe used to like it when I "walked" her home while she drives after working the night shift...

So yes. I'm going to sleep on it first, and if I still feel like calling her in the morning then I will. If I don't, I wont.

If I do, then I will only be cheerful, non-confrontational, non-invasive or leading questions...just listening, listening, listening, validating, validating, validating.

Sounds like a plan.

Sleep well, DBers.

Well, one thing's for sure, you have picque her interest in SOMETHING. I would advise against calling her in the morning; keep playing hard to get. If and when she needs you, she knows where and how to find you, a la FB.

Wow thanks Alamo I really have to think about that.

That's kinda frying my circuits, actually. Seems weird not to respond or say anything when she is saying things to me.

Wow what a strange species you women are.

I feel I kinda sorta almost barely understand.

A few minutes ago she commented on my facebook profile picture. said it was a good picture. She's only ever left a post on my profile one before.

Do you still think i shouldn't say anything?

Hmmm.

Guess I shouldn't have even worried about whether or not to call her.

She just initiated contact again. Another facebook chat:

She: Up already huh and on facebook (has she been on there waiting for me?)
Me: hey good morning. how was your night?

She: it's alright 7 patients in here now (she's an Emergency Room nurse working night shifts)
Me: anything interesting?

She: not really. how was your night?
Me: good thanks, slept really well.

(long pause. usually at this point I would have asked or added something and tried to lead the conversation)


She: good just thought I'd say hello have a good day
Me: you too!
She: thx


And that was it.
You all have really got me thinking.

Would it now be good to call her while she is driving home? Or should I just keep on waiting for her to continue contacting me?

This is interesting.

And I gotta tell you "interesting" feels a whole better than "afraid."

Enjoy your day!

I know I will! Even if I make mistakes!

The WAW is becoming more predictable.

I'm starting to feel like NEO in The Matrix.
I am starting to believe.
I am starting to see the patterns.

She is following a script that she is unaware of.

I am aware.
I've got the power.
I am in control.

In harmony with God I can make my Love do anything I want It to.
She is my Love, too.

I can play her like the most beautiful instrument that she is.
I can make her body sing.
I can make her heart soar.
I can make her mind calm.
I can make her laugh.
I can make her cry.
I can make her dance.
I can make her eagerly drop her pants.

I've got the power.

I know her.
I see her.

And I can read the script.

In the next big scene, she must continue to assert herself and do her best to follow through.

She must continue to respect herself, to feel good about her decisions, and to do her very best to trust herself and listen to whatever heart is telling her, so if she still feels that I am not the one then SHE MUST follow through and send me the divorce papers to be signed.

It has taken her months to build up her courage, and I'm still not sure if she has actually put them in the mail yet, but as the director of this drama, the best thing for me to do right now is sit here in my chair and patiently wait to see how my beautiful young actress delivers her next lines.

Anything can happen...

I'd say let her reach out for about a week or so. Of course, you know how to gauge when to respond based on whether her communication with you begins to increase, taper off or stay steady. What do other folks think?

Feeling more nervous than I would like right now.
Thanks Alamo, though I'm not feeling quite as confident as I did this morning.

Have noticed I'm spending too much time thinking about her today. Too much time wondering if I sounded too cold or distant in both of those last two short text chats.

Wondering if she is actually wanting me to take the lead here and offer her another way out or option so she doesn't have to send me the divorce papers.

Could that be possible? Could I be letting her down again by failing to offer some alternative views and possible solutions for her?

Any helpful thoughts or feelings out there?

Thanks.

wow we dont get much time to edit those posts, do we? got my 1st 2 sentences reversed and now i'm worried it sounds like i'm thanking alamo for making me nervous, instead of thanking her and then telling her i'm nervous

okay and now i'm rambling and losing my composure again. losing my self-control. running scared.

The mind is a tricky thing, yeah?

I'm feeling really insecure right now so I figured I'd sit here and right a bit. See what comes up or out.

My wife is gorgeous and has a voracious appetite for sex.
Very passionate. Very fun. In truth more than I could handle.

Hard for me to admit, but there it is.

I saw on some other threads here about women's attraction to dangerous guys.

My wife has dangerous after her all the time, and know I see she's recently commented on one of these bad boys facebook photos.

Now, she's recently commented on my photos, too, but that hasn't stopped me form feeling insecure.

When I see these guys come sniffing around and her responding...

It hurts.

And then I allow my mind to spin off, beat myself even further, and make myself feel even worse, knowing that I'm the "sensitive" type who can sit here and talk about his feelings.

I think my wife just wants a really good f**k and I haven't been able to give it to her no matter how much I want to.

Not really sure what to do about these feelings right now other than to say here they are.

Here they are.

And here I am. Lacking confidence again.

Something's gotta give.

I'm half wondering if I should push for the divorce myself.

In a bad place right now. Not sure what to do.

okay feeling a little better now. went for a long walk. cleared my head a bit.

I think what's still messing with me most is my lack of steady income.

When it comes right down to it, I know I'm not even making enough money to take care of myself right now, and even though my WAW doesn't really know just how bad it is for me right now, she has seen enough of it messing with my confidence and stability over the past few years...

...but far more importantly I have seen it in me even longer and I still see it there today.

And it's not even like I want or need to make the kind of money that I've made before. Just like I don't really need the kind of studly body I had over 20 years ago.

I'm okay with that old money and body being gone, because for the most, I really love the person I have become.

Honestly I believe I could live well and happily on much less money than I've been stretching and stressing and striving for all these years.

All I really need is an extraordinary quality of life, and I know setting that up isn't really going to be all the hard.

I just need to take some of the focus, patience, discipline and self-control that I've been exercising here trying to win back my WAW, and truly engage and apply myself to making my own lifestyle dreams come true.

I need a better focal point now than winning back my wife.

Now I need to focus on reclaiming my quality of life.


So it's only a few weeks, and at this point I'm really not sure how I'm going to make it happen, but I have now set my intention to fly to Costa Rica on March 21st and see if it's a place I'd like to live for awhile.

I think I'm going to start using this thread to keep my mind on getting a surfboard and guitar, instead of worrying about who is chatting up my wife.

This is me being natural.
This is me following my heart.
This is me being true to myself.
This is me DBing for me.