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What is different grr?

BITS
Denver

well, before this cycle (my h has asked for a divorce in various levels of intensity-this being the most intense, 4 times) i was stronger and much more independent
one of those women who were fine being alone
i have a great family, friends and i love my career (which i worked my butt off to get)
if i perceived a relationship i had was going under, i could walk away easily walk away...
of course this is different
we have a history and the most important thing, a gorgeous s (you should see him)

but the begging and and pursuing i've done is just shocking to me

That sounds a lot like my situation. I was always very independent and just fine being by myself. When my W left, I couldn't understand my own behavior. It was strange.

I think that maybe you should try to recover some of that quality grr... most likely, it was a big part of what made your H fall in love with you in the first place.

BITS
Denver

Dont want to high jack thread here but I think most of us are shocked by how much we want to keep our marriage and by how much we are willing to forget to do so.

I know that when I was younger I thought that if she ever even kissed another man I would walk with no problem. But the stakes are too high. Now i am considering forgiving her for sleeping with another man for over a year. That is crazy to me but it just goes to show you that this BITS club values their marriage and believes in the vows that were made.

Better or Worse and could it be any worse for us.

Dont beat yourself up GRRR, its commendable that you arent just ready to do what over 50% do and just give up. Giving up is easy.

9
BITS

9 - I'm wanting to go over to your thread and catch up. I'm just struggling with finding some time. I hope that you are hanging in there.

BITS
Denver

DEnver:

Easy man. You cant save the world. YOu are doing an amazing job on this forum and helping a great deal of people. I will survive. And from what i have read you are going through quite a bit of sht yourself so no worries about me.

9
BITS

thanks nine lives
you are right on all counts
have you been to the fb page??
lots insightful stuff

No kidding, ninelives. I think my family thinks I am crazy for fighting for my marriage. The see a situation where my wife had a 10 month affair with another woman. She must be gay. What am I doing?

I then found my unconditional love for my wife and the vows that I read to her on our wedding day. I see a very confused person that needs patience to sort herself out, and a family that has so much potential if it manages to stay intact. It is all so complex, but I never thought I would be here.

Hope you are having good day, grr. Take care.

thanks sparks
i have read a bit about your sitch
you are the only one who knows what is right for you
what is right for you to do

if you feel like fighting, then fight
what have you got to lose, really, by doing that?

fight or flight?
which is easier?
but which will give you and your family what you want in the end?

hope your day is ok, too

No i havent checked out that sight yet but I will at some point.

She has access to my facebook so i dont want her to know anything and she has access through our sons account.