It's commendable that you do not wish your BiL or SiL to pick sides, asking him to clarify what he said to you, I do not feel is asking him to pick a side.
We could all suppose and postulate here, but only he knows what he meant.
Thanks Jack. Do you have any insite as the mode of conversation I had with my BIL?
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
Zen, I wish I had more for you than this. My going dark was more for me and my piece of mind.
W was contacting me with short angry texts and requiring me to be available to her agenda. She was pushing buttons, I normally would have angrily responded to. Not reacting negatively is one of my 180s. Going dark permitted me to disengage from the button pushing and begin to control the pace of the interactions. Gaining my own time gave me a chance to GAL and detach. It seems to be working W is asking questions about what I am doing.
(rant begins) I hate FB. I think FB contributed to my sitch. I think W became envious of all the fun things her FB friends were doing and that contributed to her dissatisfaction with the R. Instead of communicating with me the fun things she wanted to do, she began the processes to the sitch we (her and I) find ourselves in. (rant ends)
Do you have a FB page? Can you post all the fun things? How do you think your H would react? I know this isn't really being dark, but it is not communicating directly either
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
hey zen...i hope you are ok i understand that you seek answers from you bil and sil i used to talk to my h's brother about our sitch, and while my bil was compassionate to my sitch i also knew that nothing he said to my h would change my h's mind...and that he was not going to tell me all he knew...i was ususaly more depressed after talking to him that was last year so far this year i have been dbing his bro, if you will when i talk to his brother, we do not speak of the relationship i act like all is cool and hopefully THAT is what he will take back to h, if anything it helps me feel better tho hope you are ok
Hey my BITS! I AM here!!!! I actually had a pretty busy w/e, so I apologize for not being more attentive to my fellow BITS. I have ALOT of catching up to do.
Have another couple of busy weekends coming up. Just doing my best to GAL! It's hard, but I'm getting out there more and more with my friends.
I've missed you all. How is everyone????
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
