Thank you for stopping by my thread and your bday wishes! So sweet!!
My husband and I enjoyed our dinner at Outback, and Lord of the Rings. They really did a great job making this last movie!
So, in the car, on the way home, he tells me that he's so excited about giving me his present. And he now has to come up with a Christmas present idea that will top this one...not sure if he can.
I tell him, "You do know that by being my friend everyday, you've already given me the best gift you ever could."
He took my hand and told me he was happy to hear me say that.
So, we get home, he tells me to go do my before bed routine and then come downstairs.
I do. He has me sit in my chair and close my eyes.
I can hear the microwave going and then beeping.
Then he lays something very warm and wonderful smelling on my chest.
It's an herbal stress pillow!
It's very pretty, smells great, and is the perfect weight.
It sits right on the area of my chest that hurts when I have panic attacks.
This was such an incredibly thoughtful gift from him. Something I would never expect he'd consider getting! A huge 180 on his part.
He told me that it was a practical luxury item!
Folks, it was very warm and the perfect weight. He told me he imagines me coming home from a hard day at work, heating the pillow up and relaxing for a bit.
I told him thank you so many times.
He told me he hoped it show me how much he loves me. He didn't look me in the eye when he said it, and his head was hanging down like he was ashamed. Having him say that just hurt my heart. It seems that he's still feeling very guilty...and I don't want him to feel that way!
He also told me, "Thank you for putting up with me."
His Dad and step-mom sent me a gift through Fed-ex as well as a Bday card through regular mail.
I told him how much I appreciated that they never forgot my birthday. Told him they are so sweet to me.
He's a nice guy. He's 28 and joined the Army recently. He's about to graduate from bootcamp.
Talking to him has shaken up my little world.
I know that over the past 16 months, I've had my own struggles with becoming independent.
Talking to him, he's had his own struggles for the past 11 weeks. And it's all purely survival.
He drank and smoked before he entered. Now he can run 2 miles in 13 minutes.
I'm feeling down.
As much as I've struggled to get my own life and become independent and strong, he's had to become strong on a whole new level.
I know it's apples and oranges, but talking to him, I realize that I would be a prisoner of war, rather than a soldier. I'd be useless...worse, I'd be a burden.
Tell me I'm being ridiculous.
Tell me that if I keep sticking to my diet and working out, I'd still not be in his league because he's getting training and I'm not.
Agghhh...this feeling sucks.
I'm very proud of him. Not so proud of me right now.
1> Husband came upstairs to tuck me in and say goodnight, before he went back downstairs to hang out with his cousin.
2> He hugged me from behind and nibbled on my neck.
3> He held my hand while we chatted with his cousin.
4> My parents took Cousin and I out to eat at Chili's. They paid our way and Cousin munched on a huge steak, making happy noises the whole time. (Husband still at work)
5> My parents took Cousin by Publix so he could get himself some food, solving my hostessing uncertainty.
6> My parents were wonderful with Cousin. They teased him, made him laugh, listened to him and helped him feel special. I felt so much better with them there!
Hiya PnB ... any b-day cake left? Was hoping to sneak off with a piece...
Quote: It seems that he's still feeling very guilty...and I don't want him to feel that way!
You didn't mention how you handled this, but consider the next time he lowers his head, gently bring his eyes back into your gaze when you say your words. He will get from your eyes all the heart-felt meaining behind your words and will help him forgive himself.
Also, PnB, you don't give yourself enough credit for who you really are!!! You are a survivor!!! ... hands down. The last year proved that! When the chips are down and your back is against the wall, you have the strength ad courage to face your fears and come out on top ... and don't you forget that!
You didn't mention how you handled this, but consider the next time he lowers his head, gently bring his eyes back into your gaze when you say your words. He will get from your eyes all the heart-felt meaining behind your words and will help him forgive himself.
Such a simple and great idea!
Thank you KAW!
You also said:
Also, PnB, you don't give yourself enough credit for who you really are!!! You are a survivor!!! ... hands down. The last year proved that! When the chips are down and your back is against the wall, you have the strength and courage to face your fears and come out on top ... and don't you forget that!
Thank you so much. What a wonderful PMA boost!
You are absolutely right. I AM a survivor. And so what if I can't kill a man with my bare hands!
Thank you KAW.
And here's a big piece of cheesecake for you to munch on!!
I got my Performance Evaluation for my 6 month probation period.
I still have one more month to go, so I'm not safe yet...
But on my Perf Eval, my boss checked "Exceeds Requirements" for all but one thing. And on that one thing, he checked "Meets Requirements".
Then he wrote down, "This is an area where almost no one could exceed requirements. It is a big job and a daily challenge. As she gains experience she will become even better."
That's not so bad!
Wow, what a huge relief.
I will now have official documentation that I'm a good employee!
