I am more afraid of the rejection, to be honest. If you even bring it up, it will almost be objectionable, sex is not something you want to dissect to a woman....because then she will always remember it afterwards and it will take out the romantic and passionate atmosphere.
I say if you are not ready for it, then focus on tender, caring, almost paternal feelings while doing the massage.
I will tell you something I think is true in many women: even when my H is not moving in bed, trying to fight his feelings, I can tell when he wants to ML. His breathing pattern, the way he swallows, even a faint masculine smell that emanates from him - they are unmistakable. It actually turns me on so much. He acknolwedged that I know him so well that I can read him that way - I was always right on the dot.
You will not be able to hide it Bolt, so work on not having it in the first place. The urge, I mean.
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
Shucks.... The monk thing might be a good idea... dress like one, think like one, meditate...
Wait, brainstorming here....
Maybe try the atmosphere thing. Set up like you are in a spa, and think like you are the therapist.... the 5 start treatment. All women love spas. Now that is pampering!
Also - don't do it in an area where you usually ML .... ask for help from your D's like they can bring in the warm towels, or something. A mom special day...
Just trying to help here make it less sexual but give you the opportunity to touch! The healing touch, so to speak.
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
wow!!!! my kind of conversation, sorry i'm coming to it so late
she said yes, she wants your touch, plain and simple
that being said, DO NOT MAKE IT SEXUAL if she is not ready that will turn her off faster than freddy krueger in a nightie
if you can see that she wants more (when you are in bed, perhaps) i would give a slight signal believe me, she knows them all and we hate rejection
to answer your question "But what is needed for a woman to feel touched?" tho it is different for us all, for me it's the little things he does during the day, when he really sees me and really hears me that is huge for me when he grabs a guitar (in your case pen) and spontaneously serenades when i see him close to our son but really the big thing is when i feel like he sees who i am and hears what i say that doesn't happen anymore, but when it did it i was so touched and it was a huge turn on
women and men are so different you get turned on by what you see we get turned on by what you say and do
when the urge comes (during your massage) and it will quell it batten down the hatches so to speak let her just feel that you are loving her without wanting anything in return
Shucks.... The monk thing might be a good idea... dress like one, think like one, meditate...
Wait, brainstorming here....
Maybe try the atmosphere thing. Set up like you are in a spa, and think like you are the therapist.... the 5 start treatment. All women love spas. Now that is pampering!
Also - don't do it in an area where you usually ML .... ask for help from your D's like they can bring in the warm towels, or something. A mom special day...
Just trying to help here make it less sexual but give you the opportunity to touch! The healing touch, so to speak.
angel, you truly are an angel. That is a GREAT idea to get the kids involved in the beginning. That way there is no way for it to be sexual. I can have them ready the room downstairs and get towels or something. They can hightail it once the actual massage starts. But then after I'm done, I can just leave her there to get dressed and everything. Kinda diggin it!
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
