In contrast, I find knittedscarf's post right on the money, and essential to consider.
I believe the quality of our results is based on the quality of questions that we ask. So asking myself questions like:
What do I really want? What do I truly value? What do I deserve? What is truly most important to me? Looking back on this, what would I like to have done?
These are the kind of questions that can give us strength and build our character.
They can make us feel better about ourselves, increase our confidence, make us feel more attractive, make us less dependent on other people to get our needs fulfilled, many helpful things.
And, I agree with you Wanda, sometimes just identifying our needs, never mind getting them fulfilled, is certainly no piece of cake.
Perhaps knitted scarf was saying it is relatively easier to make decisions when you know exactly where you stand.
Peace.
I am being the possibility of:
1) Integrity 2) Loving myself completely. 3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.
I don't know what she means, we are back talking civilly which is a huge step from where i was a month ago when she ignored every text message i sent and even went through my mother to deal with our 11 year old son instead of talking to me. She answers me every time I contact her now and even initiated contact this past weekend on her own to see if i had fun the night prior. She contacts my friends to see if i'm out on the weekends, which she has just started doing. She has told me the we are both to blame in the failure of our marriage and that she isn't perfect either and that we have alot of work to do on ourselves, which is true. She has told me that she cares about me and that i'm the father of our little boy and that she will always will care about me she just cant live with me. I really think my new none pressure approach has her thinking that maybe i have changed.
Everyone says keep the communication open which has gotten easier for me to have short conversations with her and me ending them. I had no contact with her for about two weeks when she started inquiring about me and outright asking me questions about my life. It was a tough first three months not to beg and plead but that only pushed her further away. Its funny that everyone was right that it's like a cat when you stop chasing the cat will crawl right back up into your lap without u even asking. Theres alot of truth to that quote at least in my case.
Great question John. It made me think about a similar statement that was said to me by my W. I will post it in my thread as to not hijack yours.
Good luck with your sitch.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
My H also said that I should be open to falling in love with someone else, should find my own happiness. I think its just so they could justify what they are doing. I told him for me my M is a covenant and I do not believe in D, and I have no intention of looking for someone else. I am thinking I should also have said that my happiness does not depend on another person.....
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
