Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives I still want to make this work

I don't know if I blew it or not, but when she came by today I made mention of our marriage for the first time in a long time. I simply said that I still prefer to work on our marriage, but I said that I know that she does not want that right now and I would not ask her to do anything she didn't want or anything that would stand in the way of her happiness.

Her reaction was what I expected, pretty much just put her head down and said "I know."

The only reason I said anything was a few weeks ago I made mention that getting back together would be "impossible." I probably didn't need to say it. She probably new that I still want to work on things, but I wanted to be sure.

It was still friendly when she left, so hopefully I didn't set myself back too far.

It was a tough day after that, I took the afternoon off and just laid on the couch. First time I have had a day like that since this all first started. Mentally, I felt like it was a huge step back. But, this evening I am feeling better. Truth be told, my mental health is much better with less contact rather than more.

Tomorrow is another day, we'll see what it brings....

The country:

Welcome to the site! I am sorry you are having a hard time. Have you been reading the book?

Also you might want to add some info to your signature it will help us, help u. Let us know how long M your age your W's kids that sort of stuff. Check out some of the other users post to get an idea.

Also from what I am reading I would say no M talk at this time you are not helping your cause one bit.

Do you think she does not know you want to work on the M?

Check back often. The first few days of posting are the hardest once you get it down you will have lots of people check in.

Thanks boogie, I added the info to my sig (used yours as a template).

I know it didn't do any good, just like I said, after a comment I made a while back I just wanted to make sure, I know, not necessary...

Overall I feel like I have been doing this LRT OK, but man is it tough. I mentioned in another thread, it is tough to know where to draw the line. How nice do I be? Where do I draw the line?

We see each other tomorrow for a parent/teacher conference. That should be OK. It is only 20 min and will be structured and when it is over she is off to work. I will be curious if she wears her ring. She hasn't been, but at daycare, she might not want to raise any eyebrows, we'll see.

The LRT is a constantly envolving thing, what might work for me might not work for you. What worked for you 3 weeks ago might be different this week.

Do what works

Test Evaluate and Proceed

Good advice. She initiated contact this morning, so I guess that is a decent sign. I feel like at the least she has positive feelings for me again, at least to some extent. I know the only thing I can really do is be patient. The only for her to reconsider is for her feelings for this other guy to slow down some. Have some reality sink in. That will take time, I know that.

One thing I know I need to do is go from pretending to be happy, to actually being happy. That is just hard to do. But, working on it....

Can't stop thinking about this meeting this afternoon. I'll be glad when it is over. It is just going to be weird, talking to the teaching acting as if we're a happy little family.

Who knows, maybe it will make her think... Or not...

Country, breathe, take a walk around, outside if it is nice, change your scenery for a couple of minutes. We are all in this together. You can hold it together.

Reduce your expectations, it is a conference for your childs benefit. Go into it imagining the best possible outcome for your child. Leave the drama outside. Try and exude confidence.

Thanks stunned, I know I am making too much out of it.

When it comes down to it, I'll be fine in the meeting. I am just not looking forward to it.

I guess I just can't stop wondering what she is thinking about something like this. I have to think it reminds her of what she is giving up. I guess I still can't comprehend how that is worth it to her.

Country, take a few minutes to detach from the emotions. She'll make of it what she makes of it. If she feels pressured she won't make something good of it.

This is an opportunity to shine as the best father in the world. Focus

Hey, I did pick up supplies for daycare that I am bringing. That might surprise her, I never, ever did the shopping when we were together.