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I told 2step that he was handing testicles like they were candy at Halloween the other night! LOL....

BITS
Denver

UPDATE....

Wife called me at 8:30 tonight. She said that she had just dropped her sister off at home after dealing with some of the stuff going on with her grandma's passing. She had asked me earlier if I could get her mail. I had told her that I would. She asked me if she could stop by to pick it up. I said yes. Then she asked if I had some of a particular kind of whiskey that she knows that I know that she likes. I said 'no', but that I was not quite home yet, and could drop by the liquor store on my way home. She said not to worry about it, but she'd like to have a drink with me. I ended up stopping at the liquor store anyway and picking up the whiskey.

W arrived at my home about 10 minutes after me. We drank and talked for almost 3 hours. For the first 1 1/2 hours, we talked about her grandma's passing and her life... for the second half of the time, we talked about W's life... the classes that she has been teaching since she left... her music... etc. NO R talk at all. We laughed quite a bit. SS watched a movie while W and I had drinks... she had less than I did bc she was driving! LOL... but good time.

She just left about 15 minutes ago... and I am drunk. Nice....

BITS
Denver

Very nice, Denver. Sounds like she is giving you a chance. And you did good.

Thanks Lotus. I think so.

The part that makes me sad... and maybe it's bc I am just a little drunk... is that she seemed more comfortable and 'herself' around me than she had been since our honeymoon.

I know that I've always made her feel that she couldn't be herself... and made her feel that I didn't think that she was 'funny'... I feel so badly that I ever made her feel this way... and more so that it took this, our S, for her to be able to be that way with me.

This hit home with me...

BITS
Denver

Denver,

We see very bad role models for marriage all our lives, and then we have bad marriages. I don't ever thank my husband for looking up his old girlfriend and starting an affair with her, but I know that it took that for us to get to the crisis point and reach out for help, and finally learn how to treat a spouse properly. In the end, going thru this can be a very good thing for a marriage.

I am sorry that I wasted about 20 years of my life being dissatisfied with my husband and showing it. He is a good man and deserved better. But at least we have the rest of our lives to do it right. And that is what we are trying to do.

You make me wish my H would wake the heck up!

Yes. That's what I said earlier. I will get over everything that has happened. And if I have 30-40 years of being happily married to my W as a result of what is happening now... it will be worth it.

And... BTW... I never had a good role models for M.... I'm sure that this is partly why I didn't know how to be a good H...

BITS
Denver

It is hard Rae. Sometimes it takes something really devastating to get to a man... maybe women too... but I can't speak for you gals. ...

I wish that I would have woken the heck up waaaayyyyy before now. I could have save myself... and more importantly, my W... a lot of heartache.

I hope that your H sees the light. I wish that I could tell you how to get him there.

BITS
Denver

Whoops... too much whiskey tonight... that should have read:

"It is hard Rae. Sometimes it takes something really devastating to get to a man... maybe women too... but I can't speak for you gals. ... TO SEE THE LIGHT.

I wish that I would have woken the heck up waaaayyyyy before now. I could have save myself... and more importantly, my W... a lot of heartache.

I hope that your H sees the light. I wish that I could tell you how to get him there."

I know, Denver and I appreciate that.

My sitch is complicated. It's been the longest 18 months of my life.

You're doing such a great job. Keep up the work, it's working!