Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives I still want to make this work

Thanks dbmod. Edits noted!

I would love some more opinions on my situation if anyone has time.

OK, I need some advice. She still hasn't filed, or at least she hasn't told me and I have not been served. I am seriously thinking about filing myself. I want to say "I prefer to make this marriage work and save our family, but I know that is not what you want and I am not going to try to talk you out of that. I cannot put up with this affair any longer, so the sooner our marriage is over, the sooner the affair is over. Take care."

I don't even really want to play games, it is really just how I feel at this point. If she wants to try to reconcile, she can still do that, but I do not want to be the one just waiting anymore.

Thoughts?

I could really use some help here. I don't know what to do. I feel like the more I try here the harder it is getting. I started DR last night and I feel like most of it is for people who are at least still living together. I wish more applied to my situation.

I really want to just give up, get the divorce over with and move forward. This limbo is killing me...

I am having a real tough time today. The worse I have had in a while. Luckily I guess I have not contacted the W so at least I have that going for me. She picked up our daughter today from daycare. She had in the past at least let me know, nothing today. I was also hoping that she booked our time for the parent/teacher conference next week, but like I said, I have heard nothing. She has our D for the next 5 days. These are always the loneliness. I still cannot believe this is happening.

God I wish these forums didn't take so long to post. It really voids its usefulness when going through a tough time.

Just about to have my first Telephone coaching session!

Anyways, after complaining that she did not contact me after picking up our D, she has a few times tonight. More than normal it seems! First a video of our D and I was excited that she did that. Then after just a short reply from me saying thanks, a joke and another picture! I am sure I am just chasing nothing here, but it seems different than it had been. We had always been good sending pics when for the other, but this just seemed above and beyond tonight.

I guess I shouldn't over analyze it!

After telling her I had plans tomorrow, I ended up getting my D tonight instead. Everything was very friendly when I picked her up. Then... She went for a hug. I was not expecting that at all. It ended up being a little awkward. Don't get me wrong, it was nice, but weird.

I really think she is confused right now. I don't know what to think....

Well, I stuck with it this morning. The W came by to pick up our D. It was pleasant, we were both upbeat. She almost looked like she had been crying when she first showed up, but it might just be a cold.

It took all my power to stay happy when I even helped her move her dresser into her car for her. One thing that was hard to hear, she made reference to the future of having a yard again. Make me realize she still sees this as permanent. I knew that, but still hard to hear.

Man, what a day. I woke up feeling good. I mentioned the hug yesterday, and our interactions have been very good. All of a sudden she is calling me rather than texting. As I mentioned before, she came by this morning to pick up our D, so we have had two face-to-face interactions in 2 days.

Now, she just calls again to ask how to hook up the TV she took this morning. JUST CALLED AGAIN MID POST! So she is going to come by AGAIN tomorrow morning and asked if I could help her move one more thing. Now this will be 3 in 3 days? Can't hurt right?

It is tough to get excited because none of the conversations have to do with our R, but I guess at least she feels comfortable talking to me agin?

I have to admit, I know any type of reconciliation would be a long way off, but I did hit my first goal already, calls over text! I have to think of what my next goal is. I don't know how much to expect, but what I would love is that she say's she is sorry. Shows remorce and some sort of hint that she would consider at least talking about our relationship again. Maybe I need to think of something smaller. Maybe offering to spend some time together with our D?

Did anyone ever say this process was hell??!!??

I swear, I was excited about the progress this morning, and now it is driving me crazy this afternoon. As soon as I see positive signs, I want everything to start moving fast.

It is going to be a tough evening, I can see that now. Can't concentrate at all here at work, just want to go home....

Well, made it through last night without contacting her. That was hard, had a lot on my mind and a lot I wanted to say...