Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives Sitting in my house all alone...

Navy,
I wouldn't worry about it. Your dad said it, not you. You can always play it off. Your parents love you and they want to see you happy. I wouldn't give it any more thought unless your W brings it up. Then, just play it off as your dad looking out for the two of you.

BITS never walk alone!

FOBD

Talked with W for about 2 1/2 hours last night. She did bring up the thing with my parents...but moreso from the point of her being surprised that I had been talking to them about what's going on with us. But she did say she understood why I did it and she wasn't mad. That led into a discussion about selling the car...she did say that she was worried that I would resent her if things don't work out...I told her there's no way that would ever happen...selling it was the easiest thing I have ever done and I needed to do it for me. She then said that I'm making a lot of changes at once and seemed a bit overwhelmed by it...but she did say that without those changes she'd probably already have called it off.

And then, she started talking...and I listened, and validated. She said that things would be very different now if I had been like this all along, and that she wouldn't be holding on to some issues from our past like she is if I hadn't invalidated her so many times. Also talked a lot about how she feels like she has lost control of her life. She told me about how she wanted me to treat her. Treat her like she chose to be with me, not like she needs to be with me.

Ended with her saying she still doesn't know where she is...and still wants nothing from me right now. I told her that I hope that someday I get the chance to be the husband I've always wanted to be, and thanked her for talking to me, and told her it really felt good to listen to her.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone. Hope you are all celebrating in your own special way. I had my IC and then some good friends invited me over for dinner, which was nice. Really missing W and the kids though. Got them some small gifts (W a hair salon gift card and her favorite candy bar and some toys for the kids)...still haven't heard anything, which I guess is to be expected. Oh well, tomorrow's another day.

Hey NG - just checking and wishing you a great night. Thank God V-Day is almost over.

Navy,
You did a good job here. Be proud. She says she doesn't want anything from you now, but she is talking about things and the R. As long as she is still talking to you, there is still something there. Love is actually a very hard thing to kill... despite what our WAS's would like to believe.

I hope you are having a good day!

BITS never walk alone!

FOBD

@#$%. Guess I've been screwing things up. Just talked to W. A couple of her friends recently told me to make sure I am giving her space...I wasn't sure how I was doing with that so I asked W directly. She said that she feels like I haven't been giving her space and mentioned that I always ask to talk to her after I talk to the kids and that it gets her really worked up. I guess just need to go dark as far as talking to her goes...just call to talk to the kids and that's it. *2x4 to my own head*

What do you talk to her about?

Navy,

The mistakes will happen, I am glad you gave youself the 2x4 if you have an extra one come over and give me one. I got pummeled today by a few vets. They were right. I don't know if you have read my sitch but you and I are in a very similar place. Your W is 2000 miles away mine is 1500 miles away. Believe it or not you are in a better place than i am. Mine already filed.

However I do go through the 2 or 3 hours of conversation with W one time we spoke for 5.5 hours. It was great.

My point is don't worry too much about the mistakes you make along the way they will happen. I will keep up with your sicth and you should check out mine. I post full conversations you might pick up some tips on how and how not to DB.

Usually I just ask her how her day was and what she's up to and tell her any information I think she'd like to know. Sometimes I ask her about how the kids are holding up.

Ugh. Just sent an e-mail to the kids' preschool to let them know W and I are having problems and don't know if the kids will be back. They were nice and said that they will save their spots and that I don't need to pay until they come back.

This sitch is such a horrible, horrible thing...I would honestly not wish it on my worst enemy...