Thanks for the insight especially from a womans angle. Lis I need validating more than my W sometimes. I am turning into such a woman. HA.
At this point I think she will go through the D just to tell herself she did it. Almost like proving to herself she was strong enough to follow through. That would be my first boundary test.
I have always stated I have two breaking points
1. OM/PA 2. Divorce being final
I now have to re-evaluate my stance if this happens. I hope I am wrong about this but the fact that she initiates is comforting. It is so much easier to see other peoples small victories while failing to see my own.
This is exactly what I *hope* my wife is doing. I think that for her to not go through with it at this point would only mean that I had talked her out of it. I realize how hard it was for her to build up the strength to take this step and she would feel like she was betraying herself on a massive scale if she didn't follow through. That's why my goals are to reestablish a friendship and let her know that I am only interested in seeing that we both live out happy lives... whether that be together or not.
BITS
M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
Thanks 2Step. I didn't really expect that anyone would be on at 3 or 4 in the morning... or whatever time I posted that.
I did read your post over on my thread. Thanks. I hope to respond to everyone about tonight.
I want to quickly respond to your question about asking your W if she turned in the D paperwork. I just want to remind you of something that you said to your W the other day:
“I was glad to make it, I know I have called before and I am sure I was sorry before but maybe I was sorry for the wrong reasons. Last night I was in complete peace with letting you know that I was ok with whatever you decide to do.”
Be true to you words 2Step... Show your W that you are truly sincere in what you speak.
Asking her about the paperwork would be contrary to being at at "peace" and "ok" with whatever she decides to do.
Asking her isn't going to change her choice, one way or the other.
BITS Denver
Damn Denver you are right on the money. If I said it then I should follow up with action if not I have changed nothing and all I am doing is fooling myself. Thank you for the reminder
This is what my gut tells me. You W and I sound very much alike and you have stated how you've had several chances but did not handle them properly. Stick with it and practice, you might have to start the convo at first but not too many just one here and there. One I feel like we are going to long with out contact I will reach out. I find a reason something small but usually it turns into a marathon. That is ok
Sorry next just read my post to u and it's all chopped up, that's what happens when u use your phone.
I have a question I was thinking of getting W 1 Blue Rose for Vday blue represents impossible love now I have sent flowers before and they have been well received but we have been talking so good lately that I don't want to back slide
If they do that, I know I'm on the right path. Where's THAT list 2Step?? She told us to write it down.
You know Lis I have to really think about this list. I am not sure how to make one. I think I am getting pretty good at what not to do but I have to work on what I should be doing. I think maybe this weekend I will work on that list.\
Maybe I should wait to give back the papers and give them to her on Monday with a rose and a note that says "I told you there was nothing I wouldn't do for you" lol
BITS
M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
Maybe I should wait to give back the papers and give them to her on Monday with a rose and a note that says "I told you there was nothing I wouldn't do for you" lol
I think it is too early for that. Let her know you accept her decision but the door is open, for now
