"Did he actually say this or did she just think it? If so what did he say you need to change?"
Both FB2. We all agree I need to stop my caustic behavior. I am fairly sure it was not all about me other than at the end of the session I did not want to go back. I know my wife.. it was a task that was given to me when she was WA. I can't fix it this time. It will become a "choice" we both make from here on out.
"If there's any truth in it why not just happily agree and do your part? Then after you've made the "change" ask for your turn."
My turn is.. whatever. I feel like I have done my part. I have done things within the past few weeks.. months.. that have been "seen". She has even pointed them out. If I am being honest with you.. I am not sure that I could even respond to her "giving". Not that it would happen but I am just thinking about the possibilities. That leads me to a question..
How does one ask for that which that have been told not to ask?
"If its merely a finger pointing session or a one sided attack its unlikely to produce results even after 10 sessions."
I get it.. just not sure I am on board with your with your entire thought.
I won't lie and say I expected the anger that came from me after the 1st session. And the way I acted "pushed" the C to react to me. For a brief second.. in the elevator ride down I saw the person I married. Once we got "home" I have not seen it again.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
"This is the root of it. I think everyone here hears that loud and clear. Over and over."
So.. how do I stop it? How do I stop "feeling" like I have put more into this than she has? J3B there is a reason it keeps coming up.
"It's your fall back and entitlement."
But it is reasonable. Why do my actions become "entitlement"?
This is the question that has caused a rift "here". I have watched it.. I have posted thru it.
"Marriage isn't a trophy you mount on the wall and dust every now and then."
Really Jack.. I have just dusted it. My marriage has never been a trophy. She is the one dusting it. I have not seen nor heard from my wife in 3-4 years now. I am guessing that the only reason she is "here" now is because of the kids. I am not the cheater. I am not the liar. To this day she still denies that she had a P affair. I know better than that. She is still talking to him today.
"More like a plant you have to water and nuture. "I'm doing my part."
I keep pouring water on it.. dam$ thing keeps dying. Should I stop pouring water on it? I put it in the sun. I gave it some new soil.
"Your part is becoming if it already hasn't your excuse and justification for not being married."
How is one married if the other person keeps crapping on you?