None of us know the truth grr... it could be either of those two possibilities. What is important is how you handle it. Focus. Be calm, cool and collected. DB his a*s while he is there. Be cheerful and happy, but not cheerful and happy just bc he is there. Got it?
And do NOT bring up R talk!! Try to BE the good time while he is there!
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
yikes he just got home gave me a big hug and we talked for awhile now he is getting his own dinner it took everything i had not to go get it for him i am trying to be cheerful, but i know he is only staying the night because he was away and misses our son he will be gone tomorrow night and all will be strange and lonely again
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
All you can do is move forward grr... keep applying what you are learning here. Stay calm, cool and collected. Don't let him know how you are feeling inside. Act AS IF!
I wish that there was more I could say or do to help you right now.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
responding helps more than you know....or you probably do know i did a stupid thing i think on friday we were rehearsing a skit on the tv show i work on the 2 actors i was working with did a movie about 15 years ago and my husbands band had a song on the song on the soundtrack i told them this and they remembered and asked about him and said to say hello i texted h right away and told him he texted back thanks and said how cool that was i thought right away that was a dumb thing to do tonight when he got home (he is sleeping in other room right now) he again told me how cool that was and that he had straightaway showed the text to his bandmates i feel like that was a bit of backsliding, but i guess i wanted to show him how connected we were on so many levels i don't know at least tonight, i was fairly unavailable i made sure i went to bed first and i did not initiate any real conversation
That doesn't sound like too bad of a backslide. You probably could have saved that comment for another time, but I wouldn't beat yourself up over this. Keep us updated!
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I don't see anything wrong with the text. Tonight is prob difficult for you. Remember to keep your eye on the prize, stay cool and collected and you will do just fine. We are there with you.
last night was difficult and part of me thinks it was wrong to go to bed early and not spend more time with him but that would be pursuing...right? this morning was awful - my dad couldn't get out of bed h got him to his wheelchair and for awhile it looked like we were going to have to get an ambulance to hospital h was very helpful til i got there and then proceeded to take his stuff into the car to go to "our house" where he is staying alone all the while i am dealing with my parents, trying not to throw up, and getting my son ready for school and h is walking in and out with his luggage can you say insensitive? on the other hand he has been helping me deal with parents for years this is what i need help with: he just called and said he would pick me up in awhile and we could have some tea and talk about what we are going to do with the house i guess it may lead to a relationship talk which i am not ready for in the midst of all this (but would i ever be ready?) help i don't know what kind of help i am asking for just venting? maybe by the way, my dad seems to be getting around better and the hospital is off for the day as ever, thanks for your support and friendship
Second he wants to meet with you today? At this point I see this as a chance for you, not necessarily a bad thing regardless of the topic of the conversation. Keep your composure and remember what you have learned. You must maintain and just imagine us sitting next to you cheering you on. Smile and be friendly. Act as if everything is just perfect in your world and you are moving along nicely, this is prob one of the hardest things to do but whenever I have done this is has produced positive results but it is also very scary because you get the sensation that you are pushing them away by doing this. The opposite is true you are making them curious.
grr, I wish you the mostest and bestest luck today! I'm a little late to this but I don't think that text was wrong at all. It was a cool piece of news and was fun to share. You did nothing bad or backsliding at all, I feel.
As for the meeting today. Remember the act as if?? Act as if this is simply a meeting about the house and be positive! Keep your positive game face on no matter what happens.
2step said it right! This will be hard but it WILL pay off.
Act like we are all with you, right behind you, helping guide you through it. We'll all be here when you get back too!
You can do it! Be strong!!
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
