Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers still lost and still searching 2

You are a smart man and a very good man/person! Her skull is thick but I think you are making headway.

Next, when you have a positive situation where the feelings are good, standing just a little closer to her--change the body language a little: test the waters. Don't make too much of an obvious move. Just make SURE she's feeling the attraction. If/when she moves a little closer, don't 'go for it'. Watch and see what happens.

Hey Tank. Looks like you are making progress. Seems as though your W is beginning to see outside of the fog. That is a good sign. Keep DBing. Don't let up.

Take care of yourself for you, though. I know it is difficult to not think the changes are for her. I have the same problems. I am always trying to make changes in myself that I think my W would appreciate and not changes that matter to me. I know. It is what the vets on here preach, but I think there is truth in it.

Keep it up.

thanks dbmod, i will try that next time we have a face to face chat. I wont go for it, honestly i wouldnt until OM was out of the picture. But i like the idea of moving closer and seeing what happens.

Sparks, your right, it is tough to make changes without doing them for my wife. I use all that i know she wasnt happy with as my motivation to better myself. Who else knows me so well? she points out my flaws, i fix the ones that i agree with.

I take alot of motivation from my children, its pretty easy to when i see the smiles on their faces. Even my oldest now calls me dad, and my second oldest has asked to legally change his last name to match mine. So the changes i have made have been for myself and the people who matter most have noticed and my family is stronger and closer than it ever was.

Now for an update, my wife sends me a text asking if she can buy D7 new boots and gloves and a jacket. I told her she can buy whatever she wants for D7. She wanted to make sure that D7 could bring them home. thats a good sign, cause nothing travels betweens homes, now wife wants to buy things for the kids for them to bring home.

She also had to send me multiple about the dog. She took the dog to the store and bought toys, took her to the doggie wash and bathed her and had a good time. She walked her last night and 2x today. It was like she was giving me updates about how happy she was to have the dog with her.

I have had a smile on my face all day! its great to do something so small yet make someone so happy. Way better than fighting.

Painted the living room today with my boys, going to teach them how to install real hardwood tomorrow. Its a good weekend. Only 4 or 5 more items on my Honey Do list. Figure when I cross them all off, i will invite wife over for a sunday dinner with our family and then before she goes home, ask her for more! maybe not, but who knows.

I hope others are having a good weekend, stay strong everyone.

Well another day with good textin with wife. She asked me howthe renos were going this morning, she asked if her cousins D could come for a visit as her cousin looked after my D7 so she wasnt lef with OM and the 2 kids want to spend march break together. Of course i said yes, when you have 4, whats 1 more.

She thanked me again for the dog as she was out for a walk. She asked for a couple of extra hours with D7 today so i gave it to her.

My W is trying to quite smoking, and i pick up these really god Baskin Robins sugar free hard candies everytime i cross the border. I hae been keeping her in supply as i cross the border often and bring them back with me. I asked her ifshe needed any more and she said yes.

She arrived at thehouse to drop off D7 and i met her at the street to give her the candy, we talkd for a couple of minutes about the kids and the house. Kinda hard to talk with OM waiting on the road. I went back in the house. Out mutual friends were over helping with the renos. She went out to talk with the my wife.

Reception tothis by other man was really pissy. he opened te door to the truck, and honked the horn, calling wife to get in he wnted to leave. This is my wife's life long friend, she looked at OM and said to shut up they were talking. my wfe brushed him off and said she would be done in a few mins.

All in all, pretty funny interaction. my wife did tell her friend that they needed to meet for coffee and talk but not with OM around.

This was a good weekend. got alot accomplished, had a very good interactions with wife. all in all, im calling this a successful weekend.

Tank, glad you had a good weekend. You deserve it!

Well another day with good interaction. I took my wifes brother in for his post operation check up. Wife called firt thing this morning to ask if i would pick her up.

I got to her home and she had a coffee in hand for me and we had very nice conversation on the way to the appointment.

DBMOD - while we were standing waiting to check in BIL, i took the oppourtunity to stand close beside her and have a conversation about work. She didnt pull away, when i moved back she moved closer to continue talking with me. When we sat in the waiting room, she sat right beside me. i take that as pretty good body language. She faced me, looked me in the face, when i would turn away i would catch her looking at me, actually made her blush at one point.

when we were done, she asked if i could take her to see the kids while i drop BIL of at home instead of taking her home. I did, we just talked and had a good conversation, no tension or stress.

While at the house, D7 had a bad headache and was feeling very ill. Wife held D and just cried for about 20 mins. then she came into the livingroom, plopped on the couch and said she loved the new paint and floor. Spent a little time with the other kids and i drove her home.

we talked about her trial, and what her lawyer had to say. Nothing about us, nothing negative. She stood at the door to the car and would say bye then bring up another point of conversation, did that a few times until i said "you have worked all night, go get some sleep". She said good bye and went in.

I am a little stunned by these interactins lately. Keep asking myself when its going to screw up.

I just read some of your sitch Tank. I have to agree with dbmod. You are indeed a great person. Sounds like things are looking up for you. Keep up the good fight.

So i woke up today to a text message from my wife.

"Thank you for incuding me yesterday, both with BIL and at the house. It was nice for us to be in the same room and get long."

My reply was simple, "your welcome."

This is a lot of interaction in a very short period of time. Taking it for what it is for now. 2 parents trying to get alog for the sake of their children.

would like some feedback from others, Sandi, if your still reading this, some input from women would be appreciated.

Ok, i just woke up with this thought on my mind.

"Why hasnt my wife filed for divorce?"

I hate thinking about this especially when im sleeping. Makes my wonder though, its been a year since her affair started, andshe still hasnt proceeded with the divorce. Why?????????

makes me wish i could read minds! lol

Probably best that you can't read minds. It might leave you more confused. lol