Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives Chapter 3 the end? Or new beginning?

Not too bad I'm getting sick. A little nervous tonight it's getting down to the final day before the DB coach session. I suppose she could back out at anytime. It's a little encouraging to know she has brought it up two or three times since we had our marathon convo; but as it's been stated many times it is possible she can back out anytime.

I know all about expectations but with something like this could you blame me? I'm thinking of texting her to let her know not to call tonight cause I will be going to bed early, I really don't feel good. Just tell her I'm going to bed early and I'll call in the AM with Jody. This way I kind of just drop it and walk away.

Gypsy thank you for asking. I almost forgot my manners.

Any thoughts?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>UPDATE ALERT>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Another 2step alert.

W called tonight as she promised.

W "hey what are you doing?"

M "Just watching a movie was up"

W "What movie?"

M "John Q. D really likes it but it’s kind of sad"

W "good movie. Going out to my sister’s house for a little bit."

M "ok be careful the road out there are probably bad"

W "I will. I don't go to work tomorrow till 11AM so I am good for the time. Again I ask you. What are your expectations for this phone call. You don't think this lady is going to fix our problems in one hour and we will live happily ever after do you?"

M "LOL If she did that she would be twice the price. I have no expectations. You don't have to be a part of the phone call if you don't want to. I going to be either way. It is your choice"

W "No. I'll talk to her. I just want to make sure I know what you think."

M "I think I'll call you at 9:05AM tomorrow"

W "ok. On another note. Guess who contacted me on FB? Ex boyfriend from HS. I didn't even know he was out of Jail. I thought about responding and saying hey didn't think I would hear from you for another 10-15 yrs lol"

M "that’s funny. He lives close to your new place. Hey you never know old sparks could fly"

W "Are you out of your (censored) mind. You are crazy. On another note I noticed you changed your FB account from M to no status"

M "I did not. What does yours say?"

W "Married. I'm still married"

M "so does mine. My ex wife contacted me the other day to"

At this point there was lots of laughter from both of us.

W "Did she call to comfort you."

M "yeah right. I don't need comfort. She called about D"

The rest was busy talk. I know it is a lot but I try to pick apart every conversation so I include the stuff I think give away signals. Now for the real experts to weigh in……….

On another note....I noticed some of you have been using the 2stepboogie ingenious way of posting by including actual conversations. Well done. I will take a bow. I am sure no one has ever used that technique before

Hey 2Step! Actually, I'm pretty sure that I patented the 'actual conversation' approach to doing updates back on December 23rd or so! Just kiddin man!

I think that your conversations with your W are just great! There is no way that this woman is over you or your M. Certainly that's not a promise from Denver that everything will be just fine, but I definitely think that you have a lot to be hopeful about!

It's also fantastic that you're doing the DB coach with W tomorrow. She keeps asking you what your expectations are, but I'm beginning to wonder what her's are! She's awfully focused on expectations... maybe she's been asking herself what her own expectations are?? I wouldn't ask her though!!

I know that you'd feel much better about your sitch if you W was not half way across the country, but I'd give my left arm to have the consistent quality contacts that you have with your W and/or to have my W agree to a DB session.

Keep pluggin away and let us know how tomorrow goes!

BITS!
Denver

LOL I got the idea from you that is why I posted on your thread tonight. Touche!

The communication is a blessing and a curse. Sometimes I just want to say. "Damn it W! Enough is enough"


But then I know what my response would be. You think I am weak and I am going to fold your will again. I'll show you!

WOW - I stay off the computer for a few hours and come back on and it's like I missed 6 episodes of my fave TV show!!

2, I'm sorry to hear you are feeling under the weather. Feel better soon. You can't be sick for next week!!! I guess I should respond to the update thread since the first response became a moot point so quickly!

I think you handled yourself well. I think your W is noticing your changes and she's getting more curious by the day. I think she is also testing you by telling you about an old BF from HS. At this point who really cares about anyone from HS?!

And her curiosity with the DB is interesting. I think she's open to it but at the same time she doesn't want the DB coach to tell her what to do so she's staying guarded. You know WAS/MLC'ers have to do things their own way in their own time. God forbid they actually listen to a netueral third party.

It's nice to hear that you both haven't changed your status on FB. I don't have any status listed on my page, but my H couldn't wait to go from M, to It's complicated, to seperated and I know it's true, but it has been hurtful to see that.

Anyway, I'm going to be chomping at the bit tommorrow to see how it all went with Jody. I'm sure it's gonna be good if not for both of you at least for you. I hope she knows how lucky she is to have this opportunity.

_____________________________
BIDET ZG!

I have wanted to say this to my W more than once over the past week!! And yes, it is a blessing and a curse. Last Wednesday night when W came in unexpectedly to the coffee shop where I was, and things seemed so 'normal' bw us, I wanted so badly to just reach out to her to tell her how much I love her, miss her, and wish that she would just come home. I was literally thinking those words as I was talking to her.

BITS
Denver

I'm sorry Gypsy. Don't mean to make you cry. I'd laugh if all of this were not so damn sad. My words make me cry sometimes too.

No need to apologize. Sometimes these moments can be very cathartic.

Gypsy,

Thank you for the words of encouragement and I believe you are right on the money with the DB thing. She is curious at this point. She is so sure that she is right that she will not tolerate anyone challenging her position, but she is a thinker and Jody actually knows quite a bit about W. I'm sure she will plant just enough seeds to make W walk away thinking but it will be a few days before I know. I know she won't get off the phone tomorrow pack her truck and come home, but she will be deep in thought.

To be honest with you, I'm getting to the point that if W called tomorrow and said let's try again my response would be "not so fast. I have spent months getting to know myself through tears heart ache and learning. What have you done to achieve self growth. What can you bring back to the M that will enrich our life?" I am starting to like my new self but then again it's Thursday and I always like myself on Thursdays by Sunday I will hate myself again lol.

Denver,

The communication is great but sometimes it is a reminder of what I'm missing. I heal as I talk to her, I wonder if she heals as she talks with me. I don't want to end up as friends. I want to be married to this woman not be her pen pal.